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| User | Post |
| D3stiny_Sm4sher Posts: 128/226 |
Yea, I guess that's natural.
But here's the way I see it: a relationship can't start unless it's mutual. So if you're afraid of other guys moving in on your girl, but you trust your girl, there's nothing to be afraid of. They can't just pick her up and steal her from you--duh. She has to make that choice. And if she can be trusted, then she wouldn't do that. |
| Shadic Posts: 158/528 |
Well, I decided to step into this topic for a word or two of wisdom, but I think I came away from the entire thing more paranoid..
*Sighs* You see, my girlfriend mainly has guy friends, just because she gets along with them better for the most part. Nothing really that concerns me, I just get extremely jealous at random intervals for nothing really at all. It seems that it's not like I don't trust her, it's that I don't really trust them that much, and I'm just paranoid in general. |
| D3stiny_Sm4sher Posts: 123/226 |
--
"A "surprise" could actually set off an alarm because... -You're communicating directly to her --She'll know that you're jealous and may take advantage of it" -- If communicating directly to her is a bad thing, then she obviously must value dishonesty more than honesty, and I don't see how that's good. If she's going to take adventage of you because you're jealous, she's not worth your time, anyway. I don't think you can have a successful marriage with anyone unless you both can 'hand your balls' to each other. Trust, communication, and loving each other for who the other is--that's where it's at. Sorry there, Cruel Justice, you must have a cynical view of girls, or something. There are some gems out there amidst the rough. In my opinion, if you can't completely trust a girl and have faith in her, she's not worth it--and you're not worth it to her, either, since you can't trust her. That doesn't mean when you don't trust someone, cut it off, because trust takes time to build. But if it gets to the point where it seems like neither of you can trust each other, there's obviously a problem. If a girl can't deal with direct communication, she doesn't value you as much as she could. If a person values another person enough, nothing can stop it (unless that person changes drastically, I suppose). |
| Skydude Posts: 1208/2607 |
You might want to watch out for it a bit, but not too much...because sometimes there really is something there.
I was dating a girl this past quarter, and there was a guy who I was pretty sure was flirting with her, and she seemed to be doing that a bit with him as well. I thought pretty much nothing of it, partially because she's 19 and he's 26, but when she and I went on what I thought was to be a temporary break while I was abroad, the two were together...not just had gone on a date, but together...within the week. Makes me wonder how long she'd planned on that, or if she'd been cheating on me with him already even. |
| 1117 Posts: 45/69 |
I know from experience. My ex got a new "friend" and she left me for him on Christmas. X( I'm still fuming from that. But... To go behind her back and have something lined up... It's not right. Not to the poor girl you line up, because her hopes get up, and not to your girlfriend, becuase if she finds out, she'll have a reason to be jealous. I'm sure its nothing but a friendship. I have a couple close female friends that have boyfriends... Invite him along sometime... Get a feel for how they are. If it seems really uncomfertable... then maybe something else is going on... Otherwise, just roll with it. See how it goes.
I don't know what else to do though. `JeffreyGlen` |
| Cruel Justice Posts: 834/1637 |
Sure give her gifts but don't hand your balls to her. I guess different advice comes from different experiences.
A "surprise" could actually set off an alarm because... -You're communicating directly to her --She'll know that you're jealous and may take advantage of it Besides, most girls don't care too much for material things, believe it or not. A fair suggestion though, don't get me wrong... ...Jefff. If worse comes worse, you have to stay strong but it's not easy. There's always a chance you will break up. What I'm trying to say is, make a friend (preferrably, outside of her zipcode) and if things get rough, give in to your galfriend and you won't worry about her incase she DOES in fact break up with you. |
| 1117 Posts: 44/69 |
Originally posted by [GGS No. Don't do that. It would only cause more trouble. Simply woe your girlfriend with some sweet surprises. Give her flowers for nothing. Take her to a romantic resteraunt. Show her that she is all you need, and you are all that she could ever want. |
| Cruel Justice Posts: 833/1637 |
If she makes a new friend, you make a new friend. Call it your 'backup plan', because you can never be too careful, nor can you dart off onto her friend and make yourself look like a jackass. As evil as this may sound, you have to have a backup or you're in for a heartache.
Keep it low with your new friend though, don't lure her into suspicion as she has to you. |
| DahrkDaiz Posts: 131/403 |
We all have seen it. The green-eyed monster. What do you guys suggest doing to get over stupid insecurities and jealousy? My girlfriend has made friends with a guy at work. It should really be no big deal but for some reason it drives me nuts. I know I have nothing to worry about in the long run, yet as my mind wonders, I start to see stupid things and over react to them. I'm afraid it's going to ruin the relationship if I don't get a handle on this stupid jealousy of mine. Any tips or suggestions? (yes, I've talked it out already, it helped until it was time for work again) |
