Tommathy
Posts: 132/339 |
Well, the board has been silly about " recently, I tried to edit a post once and it kept stripping out all of my ". |
Danielle
Posts: 1937/6737 |
...All that over a ". |
Zem
Posts: 765/1097 |
The ruinous post is one of windwaker's. I was thinking of PMing a mod to fix it, but I decided not to bother. ;o |
Trapster
Posts: 2116/3604 |
No, it was like this when I entered the thread.
I think it´s you.  |
windwaker
Posts: 52/235 |
Whoa, this has become a trippy thread maaan.
Ran-Chan did you not close a tag? |
Trapster
Posts: 2111/3604 |
Wtf happened with the tables?
And I mostly tell people the truth these days. I lied more when I was younger and felt bad because of that. |
geeogree
Posts: 81/207 |
in most of the cases that people have mentioned, I'd rather know the truth about why rather than have someone try and coddle me and worry about my feelings.
the truth is so much more useful. At least when someone is honest you can take that into account and maybe improve yourself. Of course there are some things you can't "fix" but there are always things you can do to improve yourself. If you are never told the truth about yourself then you may not think there is anything that needs improving. I realize I'm far from perfect in many ways, but I do appreciate when someone tells me that something I do bothers them. It doesn't mean I'll change neccesarily, but at least I know and can adjust my behavior if I want to.
I think the lack of honesty causes more problems than not. I'm not suggesting that people need to be outright mean, but don't lie all the time just to keep someone happy. |
windwaker
Posts: 51/235 |
Guys I think I have a solution; it doesn't matter, just what people think of you.
Danielle is attempting to fix the thread |
Kutske
Posts: 146/171 |
I don't think that politeness automatically equates dishonesty. Not everyone is a bitter, hateful little prick who despises everyone around him -- it's quite possible that a person's honest opinion is a nice one. Also, as was said, political correctness is a completely different issue.
As for me, I believe you can be honest and polite at the same time. If you were served a home cooked meal and it tasted terrible to you, most people would lie and say they liked it. I think the proper thing to do is tell them that it didn't taste good to you, but reassure them that you appreciate the gesture, regardeless. Similarly, if a woman asks her boyfriend how she looks in a particular dress and he thinks she doesn't look so great in it, he shouldn't lie and say the dress looks great on her, he should tell her that that particular dress doesn't look good on her, while also reminding her that he thinks she looks beautiful all the time.
But overly gushy politeness sometimes comes with the territory. Take the Japanese concept of honne and tatemae, for example; some things are best kept to oneself, but you don't necessarily have to outright lie to avoid social disaster. We can't all be Mugen all the time, there are occasions when we have to be like Jin.
In the end, I think people who zealously tout being honest with people instead of being polite with them tend to be judgemental and insecure; they have to put down everyone else to feel good about themselves, which is sad. What's important in my mind is being honest with oneself -- that's a skill that few people master and fewer still apply.
Sion: It is dishonesty, thats why I always tell the truth no matter how hard it may be. I just tells it like it is.
Somehow, I strongly doubt there is absolute truth to those words. Picture this; you walk out of your bedroom looking disheveled and you bump into your mom in the hallway. She asks, "Were you just jacking off in there?" You were. What are you going to tell her?
edit: ignore these edits, sorry =( |
||bass
Posts: 168/594 |
Originally posted by Tommathy
Another painfully obvious truth "You should stop smoking, it causes lung cancer and smells bad". Again, if it's a stranger, why is their business any of yours? If it's a friend, there's more constructive ways to 'help', if indeed you want to help the person as opposed to merely demonstrating your relative superiority.
This actually happened before. You know what I did. I stopped smoking after enough people said it. Don't knock on that kind of negative reinforcement. It really works.
I now chew 5000 peices of nicorette per day. |
Tommathy
Posts: 129/339 |
Just because a truth is obvious doesn't mean it's significant.
It's one thing to tell a person "No, I'm not interested in going out with you", and another thing "No, I'm not interested in going out with you because you're a fat, ugly troll".
Not to mention that in some cases the truth isn't really all that helpful. For example, someone could say to me "I hate your face" ...and? What am I supposed to do about it?
Then there's the painfully obvious truths, the likes of which pointing out serves no purpose. "You're fat, you should go on a diet or something". Sure, the last bit is helpful advice, but 1) like they haven't heard it, and 2) unless they're your friend, why the hell do you care, and why the hell should they take your advice?
If the person in question is your friend, I'm almost certain you can provide more support than playing the "Captain Obvious" role, perhaps suggesting to work out with them or sympathy diet with them or something.
Another painfully obvious truth "You should stop smoking, it causes lung cancer and smells bad". Again, if it's a stranger, why is their business any of yours? If it's a friend, there's more constructive ways to 'help', if indeed you want to help the person as opposed to merely demonstrating your relative superiority.
So, besides euphemisms and keeping your mouth shut, any other misplaced uses of "politeness"? |
windwaker
Posts: 48/235 |
Originally posted by ||bass
Also there tends to be more time for that sort of thing when you aren't on various moralistic missions to save the world/rainforests/poor/etc. Showing off an expensive sports car works better then all the tree hugging and soup... kitchening... in the world.
Perhaps I should have quoted this quote instead. I was trying to point out ||bass's conceited douchebaggery and so I said something very similar to his, while being sarcastic. |
Tarale
Posts: 470/2713 |
Originally posted by windwaker
Originally posted by Tarale
How's that for honesty?
Ignorant and stupid.
Watson, I do believe we have reading to do.
Oh, I got that it was sarcasm and I said it was in bad taste. And not funny. Sarcasm IS supposed to be a form of humor after all  |
windwaker
Posts: 47/235 |
Originally posted by Tarale
How's that for honesty?
Ignorant and stupid.
Watson, I do believe we have reading to do.
|
Tarale
Posts: 464/2713 |
Originally posted by windwaker
Originally posted by Tarale
Originally posted by windwaker
Originally posted by Zamboni Ice Cleaner
Yeah, ||bass, masturbating != head
I'll take sex over helping those fucking cancer patients any day. 8)
they should have thought of that before they got cancer
 I'm not sure if this is supposed to be funny, but I find it in very bad taste.
Did you read the thread title?
So I find your honesty in bad taste. I also think you're a very insensitive person, based on that comment. And people don't get to choose whether they get cancer or not, making your comment about "they should have thought of that before they got cancer" incredibly ignorant and stupid. And still not funny.
How's that for honesty? |
windwaker
Posts: 46/235 |
Originally posted by Tarale
Originally posted by windwaker
Originally posted by Zamboni Ice Cleaner
Yeah, ||bass, masturbating != head
I'll take sex over helping those fucking cancer patients any day. 8)
they should have thought of that before they got cancer
I'm not sure if this is supposed to be funny, but I find it in very bad taste.
Did you read the thread title?
Normal politeness is fine, what worries me is when it turns into a grotesque evasion of obvious truths.
Oh yeah. I'm all for this. FAT PEOPLE ARE FAT. (seriously) People are way too sensetive sometimes. |
Tarale
Posts: 462/2713 |
Well, in regards to the overweight and old lady thing...
With the old woman being however many years "young", you DO realise that when most people say that, they're not referring to that person's physical age, right? If you're calling an old person "107 years young" you're making a commentry on that they're still active, or bright and bubbly, or social, or whatever (despite their age). It's a compliment.
For example, I have two Nannas, of similar ages. One of them I would describe as being "70 years young". The other, I would not. The first is bright and bubbly... she's active, plays golf, has a new husband, goes to parties and social events and is living a great, full life. The other... not so much.
With the overweight thing, well, it would make me uncomfortable to just go "you're fat" or whatever, but I don't like the term "big boned" either. I'd probably uncomfortably (but as politely as possible) use the word "overweight". |
||bass
Posts: 165/594 |
Originally posted by Arwon
If you're *really* good you can be polite AND insulting at the same time.
Anyway, Bass, is this poll just because you're bitching that people closed the thread before you were done spouting clichéd libertarian slogans at everyone (and to be fair I'm on your side, the intolerance of heated debate at this site is absurd)?
Or are you actually concerned that there's too much civility in the day to day interactions of people within society? Is asking "how ya going?" and saying "have a good day" after serving someone in a supermarket sucha bad thing? What's wrong with excusing yourself if you have to push past someone?
Neither of those are actually correct. This is honestly because of an incident with xkeeper that happened 2 or 3 days ago. Ask him if you want.
I'm also not "concerned" with civility like excusing yourself if you push past someone. Maybe just "polite" was the wrong choice of words. I'm talking about being overly polite through the use of euphamisms and tricky linguistic obfuscations. Saying "excuse me" is one thing. Calling a 900 pound man "big boned" or calling an OLD woman "107 years young" is something else entirely.
Normal politeness is fine, what worries me is when it turns into a grotesque evasion of obvious truths. |
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