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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - i declare the good days over |
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alte Hexe Star Mario I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night Alive as you and me "But Joe you're ten years dead!" "I never died" said he "I never died!" said he Level: 99  Posts: 2573/5458 EXP: 9854489 For next: 145511 Since: 03-15-04 From: ... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| I realized something tonight when I was trying to find an old friend. I have an unhealthy obsession with the past. I'm not sure if it is because I currently hate myself, or if I simply fear the future. But whatever it is, I always sit back and say "I miss those days". Especially at this board. Every time I log on, I see so few new posts, and the quality of said posts going down hill...Man, I wish it was that one magical summer before we realized Manda was playing us like a fiddle. God, that was great! Or I'll look at staff and go "I remember when Sofie was put on staff after the Great Assignment of Mod Positions", man that was awesome! All of my friends were mods. I was having a blast. I can go back even further too. I remember the days when I first tried spriting, the trials and tribulations, before the eventual giving up. I had so much fun. Just sitting and talking about colour palettes and shape with people that I never talk to anymore. Or the Kill Everyone...thing. That was great too. I met so many friends on it that I've since stopped talking to, which is depressing. One girl I'd stay up late every night talking to. She'd help me so much. And we'd always banter on and have a great time. Then she got a liver problem and diabetes. She hasn't been on since. There were other friends too. I just stopped seeing them online. No final good bye. Just gone. And everyday I log onto AIM or MSN I sit and look at my buddy list and I wonder what happened to "so and so". The worst thing about all of this is that I CAN'T let the past go. I just yearn to have fruitful times all the time. And as it is right now, given conditions in life, I just haven't had them. I constantly yearn for that past where I would call people on the phone, or have a girlfriend who I loved with all my heart. I could remember always feeling good when this was around, even if I did feel bad alot. I can remember the warmth of feeling accepted during the early days here, and over at RR or whatever it is now. I can remember before most of us got bitter with our lives and started growing up. I try to hold onto all of that. And now I feel I'm a mess. My friends in real life I hate, but don't get rid of because they're the past. And I don't want to lose it. I hate the CDs I own, save a few, but keep them there, because that is the past. I swear, the internet fucked me up. I fell for girls on it, with never meeting them. I made friends that I'll never meet. And I talk to people half the world away about things of irrelevance. There is something that makes me sad to think of all of this. Even those horrible low times I wish I could relive, because at least back then I felt something other than unbelievable self-pity. I pitied myself and wanted sympathy that I really didn't deserve, but at least back then the emotions were great. I can remember first IMing Sofie before her and Adrian kinda hooked up and how much fun we had talking. I can remember that thread at TRC's old board that was the nail in the coffin over there. I can remember so many threads posted in by me and by me that just make me pine for what has been lost. I really want to get over this phase, but I just don't know how. Right now on my desk are articles of the past. A book from my childhood, a snow globe so old that the snow inside of it is crusted with algae. My 17 year old moth-eaten protection blanket. And a phone that has been around longer than I have. Things I've refused to throw out just pile up like junk. And I will sit for most of the time absently mindedly fondling a pokemon toy my friend Lee gave me, or rubbing my hand over the Gr. 2 pictures of back when I was a boy and when all the boys lied about how big their homes were and what their rooms were made of. Now, I see what we've all become. I'm bitter, Phil's bitter, many others are too. People I can honestly say I loved don't post anymore. People have moved on. And it makes me sad that I've been left in the dust in all this. I miss those naive days where I could log on here and not realize a damned thing about the intricasies of world politicks and the heart breaks that occur as we approach adult hood. I look at the past and see how chipper things were and I look now and see what a mess they are. My childhood friends are all druggies or I don't know them anymore. I'm an amorphous slob who stews all day in his bedroom sleeping and dreaming dreams of being a child. My family I don't talk to anymore has grown up and I barely know my cousins I used to nearly LIVE with. I don't know what to do, but all I do know is that this is damned unhealthy. |
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Kasumi-Astra Administrator Level: 62  Posts: 1125/1867 EXP: 1971846 For next: 12840 Since: 03-15-04 From: Reading, UK Uni: Sheffield, UK Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 12 hours |
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| At about 17, I was at the Citadel saying the same thing. The problem there was that everyone gave up on it, and went on to brighter things. Most of my friends are here now, and I admit that it's not as fun as the past, but it's still good old Acmlm's Board  In my experience, times come and go. Even when you think they're gone, a whole new era of your life will open up before you and you'll enjoy that even more. It's the same here, many people were unhappy at the time of the great applications, and they were missing "the good times". It isn't just you that considers that to be the best time that we spent at the board, I do too. So I think the board enjoys the best times when we put work into it, rennovating it and improving the fun posting experience. We're not a ROM Hacking board, or a gaming board, or an Anime board, we're a poster's board. We're here because we love that posting experience. And for that, there's never been a more exciting time  |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57  Posts: 849/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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 I know what you mean Ziffski. You look back on the days that was more funnier than what is going on now. All the friends you used to hang around with that brought joy and laughter. The sad and horrible times with them. I can surely say that I'm stuck in life with not knowing what to do. Don't know if I want to go on with school or get a job. |
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RoboticParanoia Cheep-cheep Level: 23  Posts: 158/184 EXP: 60582 For next: 7141 Since: 03-23-04 From: Texas Since last post: 150 days Last activity: 150 days |
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| The thing though is that the past is what it is - the past. You should not be caught up in the past though, and look ahead. If you do get caught up in the past, then how can you help yourself? And actually, the past wasn't all that great, probably. You might only remember the happy times, but whose past wasn't riddled with fear and paranoia? It's good you remember the past, don't get me wrong. The past drives us - we see our mistakes, and we build off of them in the past. Keep all the stuff you keep. Why must you throw it out? Put it in a box and put it in your closet. Then go treat yourself to some new things, and enjoy those things. And remember - today will soon become the past. |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 850/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| I have something to add about what you said RoboticParanoia about 'today will soon become the past.' That we're in an endless circle of yesterday becoming the past the next day the future and right now the present. | |||
Cornellius Buster Beetle Level: 33  Posts: 135/460 EXP: 224182 For next: 4997 Since: 06-04-04 From: Sherbrooke, Quebec, Canada Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 10 hours |
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| As an Obsessive Compulsive person, I had a lot about depressions and thoughs about the past too. I've been there. A thing I like to do is try new things. Things I never tried. While doing it, I say to myself : ''Hey, why did I never tried it before ?'' It makes me feel better cause I enjoy the present moment and look toward the future cause I want to do that thing again. I used to hate myself also. At the point I almost wanted to die. Not anymore. You know, if you keep saying to yourself ''Man, the past was the thing. The future will be boring'', your brain will eventually begin to believe it. Positive thinking is the thing to do. I know it's not easy, but it will become with th time. (edited by Cornellius on 01-22-05 11:42 PM) |
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geeogree Bloober Level: 34  Posts: 269/448 EXP: 231583 For next: 22068 Since: 03-16-04 From: Calgary, Canada Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 11 hours |
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| wow Ziff.... sounds like you are growing up.... welcome, to the real world |
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alte Hexe Star Mario I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night Alive as you and me "But Joe you're ten years dead!" "I never died" said he "I never died!" said he Level: 99 Posts: 2584/5458 EXP: 9854489 For next: 145511 Since: 03-15-04 From: ... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Originally posted by geeogree I've been in it since I was a kid. And let's just say I've been damn well avoiding it. |
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Kitten Yiffer Purple wand Furry moderator Vivent l'exp����¯�¿�½������©rience de signalisation d'amusement, ou bien ! Level: 135 Posts: 7340/11162 EXP: 28824106 For next: 510899 Since: 03-15-04 From: Sweden Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| Looking into the past is something humans like to do, hell we don't even realise when we had a good time until we had it. Looking back is good, but getting stuck about it is... well. I miss the times when I was a small child, the world was much simple and you ignored all bad things in the world. But I doubt it was as great as I remember it... | |||
Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143  Posts: 6857/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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| I thinking of the past too sometimes. I | |||
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.  Level: 73  Posts: 1149/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| I tend to live in the past a little too much too. I think it's that it's easy to paint the past in rose tinted glasses though... because if I try to think about things rationally, they WEREN'T all that wonderful all the time really. Kasumi mentioned the Citadel... if I think back, yeah I think things were good, but I think that I -- and a good deal of others -- have made it out to be a bit *too* good in our memories. It's easier to remember things that way. Even bad stuff in the past doesn't seem as bad as bad stuff happening in your present -- or your future. Eh, but I'm trying to live in the present. I don't think it can live up to the rose-tinted memories of my past, but that's my own damned fault for making the past out to be so special. |
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Daemon_nick Red Goomba Level: 11  Posts: 32/40 EXP: 5782 For next: 203 Since: 05-29-04 From: The Realm of Eternal Darkness Since last post: 36 days Last activity: 36 days |
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| We all long for the times we remember in our childhood. We look back into our memories, and we see all the happy times we had, and we don't remember the bad (as much) because we were "innocent" then. We didn't know what bad truly was. As someone who has done the same "obsessed with the past" thing, i can tell you it is not something you just "get over". Been there done that; wish we could do it again doesn't quite cover what alot of us have felt, and i don't mean that to sound hurtful. Originally posted by RoboticParanoia I am 20 years old, and i still think about the fun i had as a child, but all it is, is a memory of who I used to be. The memories we all remember define who we are. Remember your past, never forget it, but try to live in the present, it may be hard to do, but it eventually becomes easier. |
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geeogree Bloober Level: 34 Posts: 272/448 EXP: 231583 For next: 22068 Since: 03-16-04 From: Calgary, Canada Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 11 hours |
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| ziff: we've all been in the real world.... but like you said, we all avoid it.... the only difference is when you can no longer avoid it, and you have to step out into a world where doing what you want all the time is not an option anymore |
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alte Hexe Star Mario I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night Alive as you and me "But Joe you're ten years dead!" "I never died" said he "I never died!" said he Level: 99 Posts: 2606/5458 EXP: 9854489 For next: 145511 Since: 03-15-04 From: ... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| I guess I just love washing dishes and attempting to support my secondary education | |||
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 1156/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Originally posted by geeogree Crap, I think I fall into that last category. I do nothing but work; housework, cooking and dishes.... job applications, rent things, etc. I get precious little time to play games, draw, do the stuff I LIKE. (edited by Tarale on 01-24-05 06:13 PM) |
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geeogree Bloober Level: 34 Posts: 273/448 EXP: 231583 For next: 22068 Since: 03-16-04 From: Calgary, Canada Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 11 hours |
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| that's how life is.... once you give in and let it become that way.... it takes an annoying amount of effort and planning to be able to do what you want once your life is that way.... it can be done though.... |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 1157/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| I'm old. *sulks* Planning? I can't plan my way out of a wet paper bag.  Anyways, in all seriousness, while my life allows significantly less room for recreation / friends / etc, it's not all bad. I have a place of my own, and things of my own. I can pretty well do what I want to do, but I am bound largely by responsibility. But it's WAY better than being TOLD what to do. But it is a little disappointing not to have much time to do the things I'd really like to do, too. (edited by Tarale on 01-24-05 06:30 PM) |
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geeogree Bloober Level: 34 Posts: 274/448 EXP: 231583 For next: 22068 Since: 03-16-04 From: Calgary, Canada Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 11 hours |
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| yes, being out on your own is better than being told what to do... I used to hate that about my parents.... but, they are my parents.... and while I'm living under their roof, it is their rules.... and so on  but yeah.... you gotta love the freedom |
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MathOnNapkins Math n' Hacks Level: 67  Posts: 1324/2189 EXP: 2495887 For next: 96985 Since: 03-18-04 From: Base Tourian Since last post: 1 hour Last activity: 32 min. |
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| It's easy to get caught up in the 'golden days' of your former exploits. I often find that my favorite memories of things are when those things were new to me. I like Acmlm's board most when it was new to me, naturally. I loved the super metroid gamefaqs board and irc channel when I was still getting to know online message boards. It was sad to see a couple of my online friends leave completely from that scene. I guess that's an indication that you should move onto something new. I know that I personally am somewhat resistant to change. That is always the biggest obstacle to moving out of a rut. |
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Mel (USER WAS TOTALLY AWESOME FOR THIS POST) Level: 47  Posts: 721/991 EXP: 762490 For next: 3713 Since: 03-15-04 From: secure tripcodes are for jerks Since last post: 17 min. Last activity: 16 min. |
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| I think I've got something like that too, Ziff. Generally I find myself thinking about past good times -- All the Magic: The Gathering I played with my friends in Chess Club in Nevada last year -- On Graal's Valikorlia server, before Clash went apeshit and had a 'nuke-the-entire-server' RP event, when activity was at an all-time high -- When I played the Shoujo-Ai MUSH, and it was actually FUN to have hawt cybersecks with totally hot lesbian chicks, before I just started making up crap for half the RP sexual encounters I was in -- And Acmlm's Board, where I had 10,000+ posts and was the eighth or seventh highest poster. |
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