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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Craziness Domain - 75 ways to order a pizza |
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paradox Spike Level: 41  Posts: 97/703 EXP: 455239 For next: 24906 Since: 03-16-04 From: usa Since last post: 40 days Last activity: 25 days |
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| 75 Fun Ways To Order A Pizza 1. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time." 4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. 5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation." 6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder. 7. When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice. 8. Answer their questions with questions. 9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time. 10. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD. 11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out. 12. Stutter on the letter "p." 13. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings. 14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread." 15. Change your accent every three seconds. 16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. 17. Ask what the order taker is wearing. 18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs. 19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you. 20. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" See how they respond. 21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up. 22. Imitate the order taker's voice. 23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead. 24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper. 25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?" 26. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound. 27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window." 28. Eliminate verbs from your speech. 29. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her. 30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music. 31. Ask to see a menu. 32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred." 33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza. 34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay. 35. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that. 36. Order a slice, not a whole pizza. 37. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?" 38. Psychoanalyze the order taker. 39. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again. 40. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting." 41. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it. 42. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words." 43. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs. 44. Try to talk while drinking something. 45. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!" 46. Ask if the pizza is organically grown. 47. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair. 48. Be vague in your order. 49. Use CB lingo where applicable. 50. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order. 51. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff. 52. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry." 53. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get. 54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza. 55. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza. 56. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that. 57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. 58. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade. 59. Put them on hold. 60. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders. 61. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'." 62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond. 63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?" 64. When you've given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math." 65. Haggle. 66. Order a one-inch pizza. 67. Order term life insurance. 68. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?" 69. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza. 70. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed. 71. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word." 72. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired. 73. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you. 74. Ask if the pizza has had its shots. 75. Order a steamed pizza. |
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 126/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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| I might have to try some of these... Did you get these from somewhere, or are you insane and just typed them all out. | |||
Jarukoth  IRRATIONAL EXUBERENCE!!1! Level: 79  Posts: 107/3194 EXP: 4402011 For next: 177456 Since: 03-17-04 From: New Jersey, U.S.A. Shoes: Yes. Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
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Most likely, all of the above.  But seriously, how many of these have you tried? |
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Bit-Blade Pixel Artist Level: 34  Posts: 80/445 EXP: 229264 For next: 24387 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 7 hours |
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| That's fairly messed up. I dare you to call these people, 75 times, in order to use all of those. Wahahaha. | |||
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paradox Spike Level: 41 Posts: 105/703 EXP: 455239 For next: 24906 Since: 03-16-04 From: usa Since last post: 40 days Last activity: 25 days |
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| haha, i actually got them from a site, but i did try a few of them | |||
Anya The Exile Ultima Mezcla de Yin Yan Level: 98  Posts: 526/5337 EXP: 9530313 For next: 124040 Since: 03-15-04 From: South Florida Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 days |
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I do it online for the most part, sometimes over the phone. *pause* Oh, you mean fun ways.  Airship. But sometimes Cid is a bit busy, so I end up stealing his airship and head off to another country to get the pizza. Too bad it's cold by the time I get home. |
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gnkkwinrrul Dry Bones Level: 39  Posts: 202/647 EXP: 402054 For next: 2717 Since: 03-15-04 From: LYKEOMGIMFROMSOMEPLACE???? Since last post: 81 days Last activity: 40 days |
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Heh, pretty funny  |
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Kefka Indefinitely Unbanned Level: 81 Posts: 358/3392 EXP: 4826208 For next: 166641 Since: 03-15-04 From: Pomona, CALIFORNIA BABY! Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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Originally posted by Anya   Um... I am teh Kefka, so I just have Goddess statues pop pizza in front of me whenever I ask (assuming we are going by Anya's FF logic) |
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paradox Spike Level: 41 Posts: 113/703 EXP: 455239 For next: 24906 Since: 03-16-04 From: usa Since last post: 40 days Last activity: 25 days |
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| lol, never greet the pizza delivery guy as if he is a guest, me and my g/f scared the crap out of ihm | |||
Kitten Yiffer Purple wand Furry moderator Vivent l'exp����¯�¿�½������©rience de signalisation d'amusement, ou bien ! Level: 135 Posts: 655/11162 EXP: 28824106 For next: 510899 Since: 03-15-04 From: Sweden Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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Originally posted by Anya I heard about ordering Pizza by internet. I would rather order things on the internet by phone... I'm rather shy about talking into the phone. ; |
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HyperLamer <||bass> and this was the soloution i thought of that was guarinteed to piss off the greatest amount of people Sesshomaru Tamaranian Level: 118 Posts: 172/8210 EXP: 18171887 For next: 211027 Since: 03-15-04 From: Canada, w00t! LOL FAD Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Wow. How many times has this been posted? | |||
Kirby PopStar Bloober Level: 33  Posts: 27/431 EXP: 218655 For next: 10524 Since: 03-15-04 From: Santa Clarita, CA Since last post: 27 days Last activity: 19 days |
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I've seen it posted 2 or 3 times now.  Well, it's still sort of humourus, I guess. I actually do this sort of thing when on the phone with people. I'm a real pain in the ass on the phone with people. |
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