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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Craziness Domain - The bible's way to getting a wife. |
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Jesper Busy, busy, busy. Level: 69  Posts: 1110/2390 EXP: 2856000 For next: 13743 Since: 03-15-04 From: Sweden. Since last post: 176 days Last activity: 79 days |
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| Some interesting ways of getting a wife. Bible-approved! Dubya is sure to make laws out of these. | |||
Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143  Posts: 4565/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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| Why do I get a feeling that I won | |||
Kitten Yiffer Purple wand Furry moderator Vivent l'exp����¯�¿�½������©rience de signalisation d'amusement, ou bien ! Level: 135 Posts: 5614/11162 EXP: 28824106 For next: 510899 Since: 03-15-04 From: Sweden Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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The bible is big, since there is no exact quotes just estimations from the bible... dude I want to check it out myself.  ...there is a part of the bible that can be read quite erotic even. I try to find a quote from that part.  |
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DarkSlaya POOOOOOOOOOOORN! Level: 88 Posts: 2316/4249 EXP: 6409254 For next: 241410 Since: 05-16-04 From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Since last post: 8 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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| 10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. That's so the best way. |
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Alastor the Stylish Hey! I made a cool game! It's called "I poisoned half the food, so if you eat you might die!" Have a taco.  Level: 114  Posts: 2489/7620 EXP: 16258468 For next: 51099 Since: 03-15-04 From: Oregon, US Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| I was sad that they didn't mention the whole "Rape someone, and they have to marry you" thing. | |||
FreeDOS Lava Lotus Wannabe-Mod :< Level: 59 Posts: 798/1657 EXP: 1648646 For next: 24482 Since: 03-15-04 From: Seattle Since last post: 6 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| Prostution is legal in Nevada! w00t |
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Apple Kodondo Level: 38 Posts: 473/594 EXP: 350163 For next: 20284 Since: 03-27-04 From: Washington. Since last post: 264 days Last activity: 152 days |
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Originally posted by Kratos Aurion Suppose a man happens to see a virgin who hasn't promised to marry another man. And the man who happens to see her rapes her. But someone discovers them. Then the man must weigh out 20 ounces of silver. He must give it to the woman's father. The man must marry the woman, because he raped her. And he can never divorce her as long as he lives - Deuterinomy 22:28-29 Taken word for word from my bible. |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.  Level: 73  Posts: 684/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| I like the one about hiding at a party and then running off with a girl when they come out to dance. See kiddies, even kidnapping is bible approved  |
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FreeDOS Lava Lotus Wannabe-Mod :< Level: 59 Posts: 803/1657 EXP: 1648646 For next: 24482 Since: 03-15-04 From: Seattle Since last post: 6 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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Originally posted by Tarale I doubt it... somehow I have a hunch that these are just actions taken by people in the past. I'll have to get my Bible out to check. |
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alte Hexe Star Mario I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night Alive as you and me "But Joe you're ten years dead!" "I never died" said he "I never died!" said he Level: 99  Posts: 1560/5458 EXP: 9854489 For next: 145511 Since: 03-15-04 From: ... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| 1 Corinthians 7: 32-35 I would like you to be free from worry. An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord's work because he is try to please the lord 33 But a married man concerns himself with worldly matters, because he wants to please his wife; 34an so he is pulled in two directions An unmarried woman or a virgin concerns herlf with the Lord's work, because she wants to be dedicated both in body and spirit; but a married woman concerns herself with worldly matters, because she wants to please her husband 35 I am saying this to help you, I am no trying to put restrictions on you. Instead, I want you to do what is right and proper, and to give yourselves completely to the Lord's service without any reservation AKA: A man or woman has two ways to live, celebacy in the name of God. Or a moral life in which he is prim and proper in being loyal to his wife. Also, those are all from the Old Testament, and relate to Jews or Jewish-Christians. Not Gentile Christians, they are defined into Tal Mhud law and are used by Hassidic Jews. If you read the lost scriptures, epistiles, connon gospels and coptic gospels from around 90 AD (the earliest) to around 250-300 AD (latest gospel writings) then you will understand that these things are not so simple. As each of these things are relative to the writer. The modern compilation of the Bible was chosen at the Nicean Council by a group of Bishops who under Constantine's eye decided to create Christianity as a message of peace. Although to this day I still question the inclusion of the Book of Matthew into the modern New Testament. Of course, I would love to see any of you people read through the entire New Testament and then claim to understand the words of Christ. Of course, I'd expect anyone who makes this stipulation to be completely fluent in Greek, Phonecian, Aramic, Latin and Hebrew and probably a modern Prophet, or in the least someone akin to Saint Theresa. Then, I'm going to just simply laugh when you have come to me understanding the Old Testament. Because then I'd expect you to be more than proficient in Hebrew, and I'd also expect you to be a Rabbi. As for kidnapping, no it is not approved. There are many Old Testament stories that say against this. In fact the entire story of Moses is anti-kidnapping and hence not approved. As for the raping and marrying thing, that is taken out of context when translated into English. It is actually a punishment in the original Hebrew Torah, or at least according to my local Rabbi whom I'm starting to become more talkative to. Rape in those days pertains to any non-marital sex. Edit:: This is my sick way of knocking your humour with my own really dry brand of humour. (edited by Ziffski on 10-27-04 11:51 PM) (edited by Ziffski on 10-27-04 11:52 PM) |
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Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143 Posts: 4571/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Well, the text in the bible can be rendered in many ways... "Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal." Where can I do that? |
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Jesper Busy, busy, busy. Level: 69 Posts: 1120/2390 EXP: 2856000 For next: 13743 Since: 03-15-04 From: Sweden. Since last post: 176 days Last activity: 79 days |
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Originally posted by Millennium NekoNot the question worth asking. The question is, how small of a piece of property can we go and still get the woman?  |
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Apple Kodondo Level: 38 Posts: 478/594 EXP: 350163 For next: 20284 Since: 03-27-04 From: Washington. Since last post: 264 days Last activity: 152 days |
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Originally posted by Ziffski I while back I had a religious site booked marked that listened something like 100 mistranslations in the New James Bible. I don't believe it covered anything in Deuterinomy though which leaves me to believe that Deuterinomy 22:28-29 wasn't mistranslated but just fell victim to words taking different meanings over the course of centuries. |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101  Posts: 2693/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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| Just because it wasn't covered, doesn't mean it wasn't a mistranslation. Around 100 or so sounds like a very small number. | |||
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Apple Kodondo Level: 38 Posts: 483/594 EXP: 350163 For next: 20284 Since: 03-27-04 From: Washington. Since last post: 264 days Last activity: 152 days |
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Originally posted by Legion Isn't rape the act of having unlawful sexual intercourse? It would fit perfectly in the secion. |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 2694/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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| It does in this day and age, but as Ziff has already pointed out, you quoted it in fact, it was used in a different context back then. | |||
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FreeDOS Lava Lotus Wannabe-Mod :< Level: 59 Posts: 821/1657 EXP: 1648646 For next: 24482 Since: 03-15-04 From: Seattle Since last post: 6 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| Let's see the facts... I'm using the King James Version. The same text as from 1611, so the verse numbers are different, so I'll try to compensate. 1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. -- Deuteronomy 21 :11-13 21-p2 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.Ah.... seems legimate. 2. Find a prostitute and marry her. -- Hosea 1 :1-3 1-p1 The word of the LORD that came unto Hosea, the son of Beeri, in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah, and in the days of Jeroboam the son of Joash, king of Israel. The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.Now the second one looks as though God only commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute, not allow others to do so. 3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. -- Exodus 2 :16-21 2-p3 [..] But Moses fled from the face of Pharaoh, and dwelt in the land of Midian: and he sat down by a well. Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters: and they came and drew water, and filled the troughs to water their father |
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Dracoon Zelda The temp ban/forum ban bypasser! Level: 84  Posts: 1664/3727 EXP: 5514391 For next: 147561 Since: 03-25-04 From: At home Since last post: 5 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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| There is no need to justify the bibile, the book is incredibly old and many meanings have changed and the very language it was translated to is very currupt. You can't really say anything you want, unless you learn hebrew and read the bible from that. So, for all those people who make these stupid threads that change the bible's meaning, just stop it, it isn't funny, and it is stupid, innane, and if someone took the time they could prove you wrong. | |||
gnkkwinrrul Dry Bones Level: 39  Posts: 397/647 EXP: 402054 For next: 2717 Since: 03-15-04 From: LYKEOMGIMFROMSOMEPLACE???? Since last post: 81 days Last activity: 40 days |
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| You may be true, but nobody but the people that originally wrote the bible know the real meaning of it so...that also may not be true. Very interesting ideas, though...I would love to try some |
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