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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - I don't know what I should do... |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57  Posts: 470/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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Lately, I've been thinking more on how I'm going to move to Arizona just to be with my bf and to be in a new place as well. I've never been that far away from home before so it's weird to think like I have. Also, I don't want to move seeing as I have lots of friends where I am. Plus, it's bad having no money along with not finding a job yet. Also, like how am I going to move all my stuff down there when I can't drive and don't want to drive to Arizona cuz I'll get lost on the way.  I've never flown in an airplane before and don't want to cuz I'm really afraid of heights. Anyone have any advice for what I should do? |
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Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143  Posts: 4465/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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| Hmm...don | |||
MathOnNapkins Math n' Hacks Level: 67  Posts: 682/2189 EXP: 2495887 For next: 96985 Since: 03-18-04 From: Base Tourian Since last post: 1 hour Last activity: 32 min. |
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| Well, you should know better than anyone else how equipped you are to execute such a move. But I can say one thing, if you're planning on moving in with him, and depending up him in many regards, think again. It's a dumb idea. What if you get fed up with him, or vice versa? You'll have nowhere to live. This really happened to a friend of mine. I'd say it's the worst possible thing you could do in that case. If you do move to AZ, make sure you'll have your own place. That might require getting some roommates to bring rent costs down, etc. Also how old are you? Are you going to go to school? |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 474/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| I was going to stay with him until I found my own place anyways. I'm not going to go to school there. Also, I'm 18. | |||
Reid Hardhat Beetle Level 50 Bitches. Level: 37  Posts: 348/558 EXP: 322182 For next: 16071 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Look at it this way. You are 18. You have no work history. You have no driving experience at all. You have no money. You have bad financial skills. This boyfriend of yours is someone you met on a message board. You have minimal cooking skills. Last I knew he was 16 or so. Now do you really think you would be able to afford, let alone live in a place all by yourself? Would you really give up everything you ever knew to be with someone you barely even know? Anyone can type words onto a computer screen. They do not have to mean it to type it. Almost anyone can say something on the phone and not mean it. It does not matter if he says he loves you. It is only a word. This act would cost at least $150 to get a plane ticket to Arizona. To get an apartment it would cost around $350 a month. You have never done anything on this scale in your life before. I consider actually working and earning the money. After you earn the money wait for a good couple years so you can have the money to back yourself out of the situation if it gets fucked up. Remember you consider it a hard days work when you are only on the computer for 5 hours. Get some real life experience. I don't think it is a good idea. After all you think people are willing to hire someone who has no work experience and only a high school degree from one of the nations semi-good high schools? | |||
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 476/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| Goddamn, must you be a know-it-all bro. You never worked before yet either. Besides I took a class in high school about Contemporary Living. I know how to budget money when I need to. Besides, what about Jillian, your girlfriend, how long have you two gone out? For anyone else, yes, Reid is my bro. |
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Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143 Posts: 4489/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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I just thought that you used some kind of slang. So, Reid is your brother... Well, if you wanna gain money, you have to do something...  I hope that you dn |
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MathOnNapkins Math n' Hacks Level: 67 Posts: 690/2189 EXP: 2495887 For next: 96985 Since: 03-18-04 From: Base Tourian Since last post: 1 hour Last activity: 32 min. |
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| Reid is sort of right in some respects. Living on your own, while not terribly difficult, definitely takes some getting used to and a huge jump in responsibility, not to mention dealing living with other people you're not used to. You said you're not going to school there. I take it you were going to work there? Hm... again I agree with Reid that you should get some more work experience, a good credit rating along with some dollas saved up. If you don't already have a car you ought to get one. You should do all that in your hometown, where you have stability and friends. Doing all this plus making sure things work out with your boyfriend might turn out to be way too stressful. Patience is a virtue, they say, and agree wholeheartedly. |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 477/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| I've never been stressed out before. Besides there's hardly anything to do in my hometown seeing as it is small and has hardly any jobs anymore. I have a truck but that's the only vehicle that runs. Also, there's still stuff that needs to be done with it. | |||
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MathOnNapkins Math n' Hacks Level: 67 Posts: 693/2189 EXP: 2495887 For next: 96985 Since: 03-18-04 From: Base Tourian Since last post: 1 hour Last activity: 32 min. |
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| I'm not saying it's guaranteed you'll be stressed out. But it will definitely be more stress than what you're used to. I've already said pretty much all I can say on the matter. There might not be much to do in your hometown, but honestly, unless there is some clear imperitive for leaving town I wouldn't do it right away. It sounds like you just graduated high school this year. In any case, you're free to do what you want, but having a good credit rating and some cashflow will definitely make you more self sufficient. Especially if you want an apartment. They usually want proof that you can pay for it. Then there's grocieries, which aren't cheap either. I'd estimate you'd need about $550 a month or more to survive. That's provided you find a cheap apartment. Unless you absolutely can't find any sort of job in your hometown, I wouldn't recommend moving just yet. |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 478/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| I know that. I wasn't planning on moving right away. Maybe in a year or so. | |||
Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76  Posts: 1256/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| The only way I'd move is if there is better jobs where I'm going, have money saved, and wanting changes. Well I want to move somewhere different also but after transferring to that certain college and blah blah, you don't need to hear that. If you decide to move, just make sure you're ready for it. I think I agree with Reid, make sure you are ready like I have already said. |
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Sofie Level: 52 Posts: 1061/1210 EXP: 1028812 For next: 55028 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 187 days Last activity: 279 days |
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| I was in a similar situation to you. Just change the names and places, basically, I think. At the moment, I just got my staypermit (I'm living in a different country than I was born in, something you won't have to worry about since it's all in the US for you), I'm going to an evening course to improve my speech, and I'll probably start adult education soon aswell. In best case, I can start university next year. If I can't (waiting for replies on the matter right now), I'll be getting a job now, instead of in 4 years. I quit university to move in with my boyfriend and at that time, first his mother, then his father (they're divorced). I basically had nothing, and moved because his mother was so suportive, and her saying she'd help me on my feet there was what hauled me over in the end. She turned out to be somewhat psycho, so we moved to his dad, where we stayed untill my boyfriend was old enough to start uni. Which brings me to the current time, being almost the end of the first trimester of uni for him, and me finally being in somewhat of a positive position. I'm not going to bore you with how I didn't get a staypermit last year and was forced to go back home for a long while, or how all the money I earned then was spent on food instead of giving us a nice start (his dad couldn't support us properly, so I had to make sure we could eat) or how impossible it is to find a job for someone of our age (I'm 20 right now, and I have some work experience, but I never got a positive answer on my jobhunts here, and back home, I had to work at the local McDo's if I wanted to earn anything -.-) However, have you thought of what might happen when you're there? Can your boyfriend support you untill you get on your feet? Will he? Can you deal with being very far away from anyone you know, and eventually becoming a stranger to them? Do you have a back up plan, incase all else fails? Do you have future plans together, aside from just meeting up and living together? I just jumped in without thinking too much, and I've wasted and entire year with it, and caused everyone unnecessairy pain and trouble. I can give you some pointers or my views on things, given I live with someone I met on a message board and all. But first of all, get a job and save up for a trip to see your boyfriend and to spend some time together. You do not want to move in with someone you've never seen. If that goes well, you need to start planning things. If he's not 18 yet, freeze everything untill he is, and just steadily earn yourself a nice sum of money in the meanwhile, and get a drivinglicense. That alone opens up a lot of jobs. Plan things together, have him help you finding a job there, and eventually an appartment there. Buy furniture online if possible, and have it delivered at your boyfriend's, so he can store it for you. Sell or get rid of anything you can replace when you're moving. Try to have only what you can take with you on a plane remaining. I'm afraid of heigths too, but planeflights are very different, so don't wet your pants over something you've never done. Try to have as much as possible ready and over with before you move. It requires imense trust in your boyfriend on your part, but I personally would feel lots better leaving everything I've ever known behind, knowing I'll have something to eat tomorrow and afterwards, and have a roof over my head. |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 481/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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Thanks for all the advice Sofie. I was already planning on saving up for a couple of years before I went on with anything else I'm planning on doing. So, basically I wasn't really going to rush right out there without any money or nothing. That's just reckless of anyone. Also, you mentioned that your bf's parents are devorced. Well that's the same with mine. His mom seems cool cuz she mentioned that they're like work something out so he can come visit me for a few days I guess. Everything like that is very sketchy right now anyways. Also, he said that his mom wants us to meet which I think is really cool.  |
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Sofie Level: 52 Posts: 1075/1210 EXP: 1028812 For next: 55028 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 187 days Last activity: 279 days |
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| Just be careful she doesn't end up like in my case. XD | |||
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 482/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| She doesn't seem like it seeing as I have talked to her through e-mail before. Ok my friend's mom...she's more like what you stated about your bf's mom. And her parents are devorced as well. |
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