 |
| Register | Login | |||||
 |
Main
| Memberlist
| Active users
| ACS
| Commons
| Calendar
| Online users Ranks | FAQ | Color Chart | Photo album | IRC Chat |
|
| | ||
|
| Register | Login | |||||
|
Main
| Memberlist
| Active users
| ACS
| Commons
| Calendar
| Online users Ranks | FAQ | Color Chart | Photo album | IRC Chat |
|
| | ||
| 0 user currently in Lost Section. |
| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Hellmo's Kitchen - One Year on |
 |  |  |
| Add to favorites | "RSS" Feed | Next newer thread | Next older thread |
| User | Post | ||
Uncle Elmo Hammer Brother Partly Sweet, Helpful, good at advice and a half decent writer. Also modest. Level: 49 Posts: 721/1062 EXP: 845899 For next: 37984 Since: 03-15-04 From: Prestatyn, Uk Since last post: 23 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
| ||
| It's been a year since I was dumped by my ex-fiancee so I suppose it's high time for an update. Most of this is cut from my blog, so if you've read my blog entry, you'll know all you need to  "Has it really been an entire year since my first entry on this blog? Wow... and what a lot has happened... sort of I've been reading my early entries and I've noticed how much I've changed in this last 365 days, On the 13th of October, 2003, what was foremost in my mind was the fact that there was "Another Elmo, going to meet his bliss" or some other bollocks like that. The image of what this other Elmo was going through was as vivid as any waking dream, tghis is sort of how I feel when I read through my archives, only now there's a third Elmo - me You see, I can no longer imagine what this Elmo who was still with Amanda is like. He's probably weak, they've also split up, or are in a loveless marriage, trapped in a marriage of convenience, but hey they may even be happy as they've no idea of the possibility that exists outside their existence, because back then, to me there WAS no other existece. Just darkness. Having lived in this "Darkness" for a year now, I have to say it's not THAT bad My relationship was heading into dangerous territories back then, I depended on Amanda FAR too much, so in the end, freeing both her and me is the best thing she could have done for the both of us, it's only looking back after riding through the pain and dispair that I can finally see this. I still get depressed from time to time, but the troughs and highs are a lot less, which means that I'm finally over my manic-depressive phase. My life if no longer black and white, it's a million shades of grey. I have to say that the friends around me then were right about many things, time IS a healer, and I WOULD get over it, also that the collapse of my only relationship didn't mean to be my last. The Elmo, sitting there typing that entry on October, 13th 2003, wallowing in self pity could never imagine how I feel now, he's too engrossed in his own darkness. It was like his whole life had ended. That's not to say this past year has been without it's own challenges. I'made 3 abortive attempts to take the easy way out, but that's no longer an option I'll ever entertain. Life enthralls me too much. I begin this new year with a message of optimism, I am more popular now than I ever have been (admittedly, this is online, but a lot of them are also friends in RL, I just need to find one of them with the willingness to meet up with me in RL  . I have also been in a number of wildly differeing relationships, each affecting me in different ways, each ending, as Love wasn't part of the equation, although it is notable to say that I have always been the Dumpee rather than the dumper- so perhaps I have some way to go yet I've proven to myself that I'm a loveable and attractive person in my own right, and I don't need a relationship to validate that. The fact I've actually turned down a couple of offers for a relationship means I've become stronger in that respect.A lot what I wanted to achieve in the last year just hasn't happened, but I think this is because I needed to work more on myself rather than any outside projects. I had to learn to heal myself and move onwards with inner strength and dignity, and now I have that foundation, I can move even further forward and work on other things. As for Amanda, I still love her deeply. I think I've learned there's no way to turn that off. I will always love her from the bottom of my heart, what she's given me is something I just cannot put into words. ALthough we E-mail each other from time to time, I can't put these words in there, it's like they don't belong there anymore. I suppose when it comes to her, all bets are off. We're good friends, and I like having her as one, after all, no one on earth knows me as well as she does, mabye we'll get back together in the future, and mabye she won't. I Thanks to all my friends too, you have supported me more than I could have ever hoped for. You've pulled me away from the brink so many times, and so I owe you my life. Meeting up with you all is still an important thing for me, even if it's just to share a cuppa, and shake hands, and just to thank you in person, it's the least I can do, that said, given my emotional instability at times, I don't blame you for being a bit cagey about that So here's to another year, it's likely you'll have a very different Elmo reading this next year and typing all about it. I may be in a relationship,. I may be married, I may walk under a bus tomorrow, but I suppose what this blog proves is that life has a funny way in going on and that everything truly does happen for a reason. Until next time. Hwyl! |
|||
neotransotaku Baby Mario 戻れたら、 誰も気が付く Level: 87 Posts: 1471/4016 EXP: 6220548 For next: 172226 Since: 03-15-04 From: Outside of Time/Space Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
| ||
| Glad to know you are in good spirits I know you will find that one person someday. We all will--or that is the mindset that gets me through day by day. |
|||
Jarukoth  IRRATIONAL EXUBERENCE!!1! Level: 79  Posts: 1941/3194 EXP: 4402011 For next: 177456 Since: 03-17-04 From: New Jersey, U.S.A. Shoes: Yes. Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
| ||
| Good to see a more uplifting story around here for a change. Regardless of whatever happens later on, for better or worse, life will go on. | |||
|
Kasumi-Astra Administrator Level: 62  Posts: 904/1867 EXP: 1971846 For next: 12840 Since: 03-15-04 From: Reading, UK Uni: Sheffield, UK Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 12 hours |
| ||
No problem Elmo  Hope things are still going ok. When I have more time and money to myself, we should organise a proper meetup. Me and Kellie were going to meet up yesterday, but she couldn't make it  We might be meeting up to see an Orchestra in Manchester play through arranged Sci-fi classics, although it's not final yet. |
| Add to favorites | "RSS" Feed | Next newer thread | Next older thread |
| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Hellmo's Kitchen - One Year on |
| | |
