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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Cutting yourself | | | |
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Sofie Level: 52 Posts: 919/1210 EXP: 1028812 For next: 55028 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 187 days Last activity: 279 days |
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I'd like to know from people who cut themselves, or who used to cut themselves, why they do/did it. I know it can't be for attention in the first place, since most selfcutters cut themselves on places they usually have covered up. I just want to pluck your brains out and find out why. (btw, this is not because I'm looking for similar souls or whatever, I don't cut myself. I need to delve into this for other reasons) |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 2468/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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I think it's one of the stupidest things you could ever do to yourself. And I wouldn't get my hopes up when it comes to getting an answer to this Sofie. I have yet to hear even a remotely valid answer. | |||
Anya The Exile Ultima Mezcla de Yin Yan Level: 98 Posts: 3160/5337 EXP: 9530313 For next: 124040 Since: 03-15-04 From: South Florida Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 days |
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At first I thought you were talking about cutting your thumb/finger, that you did that one time while cooking, and like I've done twice. At least when I did it at work, work pays for the medical bills and the nice, nice drugs that I got. But anyway... I never did it myself, but I came close enough to have the knife in my hand. I'll try to do the short version of my story, since not many here likes to read long posts. I had very bad depression from the ages of 15 until I was 18, even a bit into my 19 years. I think it started during one of those summers when my dad lost his job and my mother worked at a school, so she had summers off naturally. We live in this small arse trailer in a trailer park where the gangs ruled and most of the females there would sell their bodies and do drugs, and so forth. So anyway, the only ones who really got to eat, were the animals that we had, and we had a lot. But then dad finally got a job and all was well. Until I found a book with my mother's thoughts in it. Now, yes, I know, I shouldn't have even looked through it, but its not like I had a lot of things to do anyway. What I found, were notes and even heart drawings, showing that my mother had a crush on my boyfriend. Now, I'll spare you the details there for you all. Now later on, my mom wanted to leave dad and move to Puetro Rico, but she wanted me to tell my father. Instead, she wrote a note. Now, this are just the major details as to why I came very close, for course there were some other factors in there. What pulled me away, might be a bit silly, at least part of it. I kept thinking about our pets. And I also thought about my father and then I knew how silly it was and I moved on from it. |
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Prier Archangel Administrative Priestess. NUCLEAR SUB WEEEOOOO Level: 119 Posts: 3363/8392 EXP: 18790939 For next: 138352 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima Dist. - Tokyo, Japan Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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I haven't done it myself personally (surprises me at times) but I've talked to people that said they've done it, and asking them about why they would do such a thing or why they would try to find a faster route to death, every time it seems to lead to the point that they aren't happy with their life or that they're in a position that they just can't seem to get out of and that they have no other escape other than to see if they can find a way out with this. A silent plea for help from death's door. Quite honestly, I can sympathize with most people that do it for the fact that they are just completely worn from life. I can't with the people that do it for any other purpose, because that's just plain stupid. If anyone didn't guess, it's pretty fucking hard to lead a decent life that doesn't having something getting fucked around with in the day and age, whether it's something small or not. And the main thing about everyone nowadays is that you'll get ridiculed if you talk about it in a fashion that is anywhere remotely close to emo, that or most people are too embarrassed or too scared to talk about it because either a) they're not going to get the answer they want or b) they're going to feel extremely vulnerable for letting themselves be known for anything they are. I really can't be sure if someone's in a position where they'd do something like cut themselves, it's some completely psychological thing that mixes anyone with danger, it's one I really don't understand. Why the curiousity in death, even when you get life handed to you constantly? But then I guess that not everyone has a universal hope to their system, so I guess I could understand someone getting depressed over feeling trapped in their lives. That's all I've got. Can't say I support it, but I can't say, given the circumstance, that I wouldn't sympathize with someone that just needs some hope and happiness in their lives. |
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Sofie Level: 52 Posts: 920/1210 EXP: 1028812 For next: 55028 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 187 days Last activity: 279 days |
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You know, I actually cut myself twice with the same knife, doing the same thing, on nearly the same spot. <<; I don't think it's silly; it's whom and what you cared for at that time. I'm asking this because my mother busted my barely 13 year-old sister cutting herself, and I wish I knew what could've motivated her to go that far (I'm sure many people contemplate hurting themselves in one way to 'overide' something else), especially because she's so young. I know she goes through rough emotional times, but it has cleared out alot for her, and she seemed to be doing so well when I talked to her last week. |
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Prier Archangel Administrative Priestess. NUCLEAR SUB WEEEOOOO Level: 119 Posts: 3364/8392 EXP: 18790939 For next: 138352 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima Dist. - Tokyo, Japan Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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Actually...given the emotional state that everyone was thrown into after your parents divorce...I'd probably have a large amount of reasons as to why she would do it... Oh man, I didn't have any clue. But I didn't think your sister would take it very well...mine isn't, at least grade-wise, but so far I haven't caught her doing anything that would be asking for death. Think what might be a problem though could be something around motivation. I think that's partly what my sister's lacking, since the only reason she did anything in terms of school at least, was because my father was around bitching about it, and now that he's not here she's gone from A's/B's to D's/F's. I was surprised she actually passed 7th last year, to be honest. But, I know she has some creative options, and gets out of the house. I know she has friends that share generally good interests...I haven't heard anything that would involve her doing something stupid, I haven't seen any signs of cutting (yet)...so maybe motivation really is the thing. That or maybe she feels alone because you're gone, and she's having to deal with your mother on a constant basis. I just hope your sister does a little better...goddamn I had no clue, but then I guess this isn't completely out of the realm of possibility given that situation. |
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Surlent サーレント Level: 49 Posts: 601/1077 EXP: 863920 For next: 19963 Since: 03-15-04 From: Tower of Lezard Valeth Since last post: 16 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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Don't know anyone who cut himself, but our family had some nasty events. I was standing on the balcony "only" some years ago and was ready to jump since I had enough of that life ... Although things didn't improve too much (it is just fate, whenever I experience something good, it pays back in a bad way double), I won't think to hurt myself. It doesn't help at all. But, on the other hand, many parents don't care too much for their children. Pressure of having good grades, problems like alcoholism, raping or misunderstanding cause problems someone can't describe. So someone might see cutting him-/herself of having pain in the flesh, so you can "care" about the pain and maybe can try to forget the other problems for a short time. It is like your mind is chased by something awful; you just reached a dead end and you are standing to a wall with your back - no one cares or is able to be talked to about that problem. I wished, at least in Germany, people would care about more than just themselves. Sure, there is stress with the current unemployment and other things, but personal problems can't be brushed away simply without talking about it. |
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Havoks Red Koopa Level: 19 Posts: 85/121 EXP: 32533 For next: 3244 Since: 03-15-04 From: Toronto Canada Since last post: 27 days Last activity: 26 days |
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i made weird patterns on my arm because i thought it was cool. can't go wrong with a tic tac toe board on your arm. | |||
Prier Archangel Administrative Priestess. NUCLEAR SUB WEEEOOOO Level: 119 Posts: 3372/8392 EXP: 18790939 For next: 138352 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima Dist. - Tokyo, Japan Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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For once, Havoks, it's a little more than that. | |||
Havoks Red Koopa Level: 19 Posts: 86/121 EXP: 32533 For next: 3244 Since: 03-15-04 From: Toronto Canada Since last post: 27 days Last activity: 26 days |
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it's a little more than what? She asked why we cut ourselves, and I think I'm the only one who's posted in this thread that has actually cut themselves. I used a fresh box cutter blade, made a 2-3mm deep cut into my arm into a # shape (notice the # is the same thing as a tic tac toe board). I did it because I thought it was cool. | |||
Prier Archangel Administrative Priestess. NUCLEAR SUB WEEEOOOO Level: 119 Posts: 3375/8392 EXP: 18790939 For next: 138352 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima Dist. - Tokyo, Japan Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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Oh, thought you were talking about her sister. :\ | |||
HighSorceressDelial Buzzy Beetle DDR FREAK Slayer of Beasts Savior of Worlds Eater of Napkins Level: 31 Posts: 279/380 EXP: 181041 For next: 4322 Since: 03-15-04 From: Shimmering Waters Of Avden Since last post: 9 days Last activity: 2 days |
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Interesting...being depressed, sick of life, silent plea for help, etc. has all been mentioned. I've heard people say that they want to have some control over their lives, and they can control cutting and pain. I always find it interesting though that no one ever mentions that they want to see blood. Some people just need to see the blood running down their arms. If someone is depressed it can be kind of comforting. ~Delial (edited by HighSorceressDelial on 09-30-04 11:51 PM) |
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Crystal Shards Keese Level: 19 Posts: 105/126 EXP: 34318 For next: 1459 Since: 03-23-04 From: Ontario, Canada Since last post: 95 days Last activity: 130 days |
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I cut myself 'cause I'm a masochist and it turns me on. I've also been known to, on occasion, burn myself with cigs. Also, I love the taste of blood, so it works out there, too. |
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Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143 Posts: 4016/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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I like tghe taste of blood aswell but I don | |||
Cruel Justice XD Level: 55 Posts: 349/1384 EXP: 1253266 For next: 60923 Since: 03-20-04 From: Darkwoods Penetentiary Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 7 hours |
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One of my classmates tried to commit suicide like that once. This guy was typically angry and he was'nt goth. Surprisingly, he was a jock wanting to kill himself after his girlfriend ditched him. It was'nt pretty watching him cut himself with a pair of safety scissors. He jabbed it as hard as he could and cut it the wrong way, horizontally. Blood spattered a bit on his shirt and he tried to keep it in, so he grabbed some scotch tape and wrapped it around. The blood seeped through like meat in a shopping bag. I saw him lying his head down from afar, so I yelled at the teacher. | |||
Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 365/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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Whoa that's strange and would be scary to see that happen Raven. One of my friends cuts herself. There are several possible reasons and also she just can't stop cutting. | |||
Dark Sorceress Rope Level: 18 Posts: 80/107 EXP: 27052 For next: 2845 Since: 03-15-04 From: California, USA Since last post: 134 days Last activity: 127 days |
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My sister is actually a cutter... Though now she has a support group site for the suicidal and cutters. http://www.livejournal.com/community/_knowyoulive/ If you need help in those situations, this is a place to look in to. |
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Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143 Posts: 4077/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Ah, good that she has a support group... I misunderstood what the group was supporting when I first read it... I assume that they |
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Jarukoth IRRATIONAL EXUBERENCE!!1! Level: 79 Posts: 1903/3194 EXP: 4402011 For next: 177456 Since: 03-17-04 From: New Jersey, U.S.A. Shoes: Yes. Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
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I always hate stories like these. They fill me with a mix of anger and sadness. I never really cut myself, I always just used to beat myself senseless.Mostly just beginning with punching myself, or with other blunt objects. I often kept turning to violent backyard wrestling matches that usually ended up with me bleeding. This all stopped when I found God. I know it's been done before and sounds cliched, but it's true. Through God, my life made sense, and my future has never seemed better. To me, suicide is the most selfish and cowardly act one can commit. Even non religiously, I find this to be true. I was always considered to be weak by everyone, even by my parents. At one point, I thought I had an inferiority complex. I was sick of that crap. I would make everyone shut up. I was determined to keep the faith, and never be considered a weak coward again. These days, I feel like I could take on the world. Every day I wake up having something to live for and happily work toward. I realize this kind of depression is no joke, so I encourage all of you to give it a try, if you haven't already. God: The Original Anti-Depressant. |
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Lord Rahl Snap Dragon Level: 43 Posts: 557/792 EXP: 544657 For next: 20389 Since: 03-15-04 From: Temple of the Winds - Training Room Since last post: 43 days Last activity: 7 days |
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Jarukoth, that works fine for someone who wants to follow God, but what about someone who is depressed and despises God, like myself? Before anyone asks, no, I don't cut myself. I just listen to music at volumes that should make my speakers/headphones explode, but doesn't for some reason. I have NO belief in God whatsoever for reasons that I won't go into unless I'm asked. So, what help can you offer me that I can't shoot down through past experences? |
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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Cutting yourself | | | |