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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Dealing with an approaching breakup but I am having doubts.... |
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MHL Red Goomba Level: 11  Posts: 12/38 EXP: 5360 For next: 625 Since: 05-27-04 From: Illinois Since last post: 62 days Last activity: 18 days |
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| Everything was perfect between me and my honeybun before she went on a church mission trip to New York for a week and a half. I believe we were in love. But when she got back, she told me she was having second thoughts about how she wants to see other guys and she isn't sure if she loves me. This crushed me. We have talked and she has given me differences between the two of us that she believes are threatening to our relationship. Here is a brief list: - I don't really listen to a whole lot of music, and therfore I don't have a preference (she thinks I hate it, there's a difference between hating and not having a preference) while she loves it and listens to it all the time. -She is "more outgoing" and I'm "too good". She is like the essence of good and I just disagree with her on that. -I am a freshman in college. She is a junior in high school, but there is one year age difference. Anyway, those are what she said but one difference comes to my mind that is big. You see, I'm a one-girl type of guy. When I am going out with someone, they are the only girl I can think of. However, she likes to shop around 24/7 it seems like. So she's, um, boy-crazy? Maybe? But anyways, after taking those into consideration, I think I need to end the relationship. She told me that she doesn't know wether she wants to end it because she feels everyone where we work will hate her as well as her family, because according to her, her family likes me more than her. (No, I don't believe that.) She says there are other reasons that she kind of wants to stay with me, but she won't tell me why. I've pretty much made up my mind in breaking up with her, but just one thing is in my mind that doubts that. You see, we are still going out "just to see what happens" and I went to her house last night.... And when I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine, we always ended up kissing and just by looking into her eyes I felt something.... I don't know what it is but I'm sure its a good feeling. I love this girl. She's my first serious relationship and I care about her so much. Do you think I am doing the right thing in breaking up with her? I mean, I can' t take the pain of this emotional rollercoaster ride I have been in since she got back. Advice is appreciated very much, as well as reading such a long post. Thank you. |
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 68/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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| Do you think I am doing the right thing in breaking up with her? Yes. If she trully loved you, she wouldn't have any doubts or "confusion". You may try relationship counselling if you like (if you're attending college, I'm quite sure they'd have counsellors available for free). But if she's actually voicing her doubts to you, rather than keeping it to herself, then her "confusion" has reached critical-mass and I'm pretty sure the relationship is terminal.  |
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Emptyeye Real American Level: 67 Posts: 720/2273 EXP: 2488421 For next: 104451 Since: 05-24-04 From: I DUNNOOOOOOOO!! Since last post: 9 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| Honestly, it sounds like the only reason she's staying in the relationship is for security purposes..IE she has some sort of self-esteem issue that the relationship helps. I disagree that her expressing her doubts signals the end of the relationship by itself; on the contrary, open communication s one of the keys to a lasting relationship. My problem is with the nature of these doubts, specifically the one about you being "too good" (What the hell is that?). In short, breaking it off would be best for the both of you. It sounds to be like you both want it to be over, but neither of you wants to be the one that ends it, for whatever reason. |
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MHL Red Goomba Level: 11 Posts: 13/38 EXP: 5360 For next: 625 Since: 05-27-04 From: Illinois Since last post: 62 days Last activity: 18 days |
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| I think I am going to pick her up from work tonight and talk to her on the way home and break up with her. But I'm going to let her know that I will always be here for her. It's just the pain is tearing me up inside and I have to let go. I still love her, but it just has to happen. This is really my first serious relationship.... and right now I feel pretty close to a pile of dung. What is the best way to get over a breakup? I know it takes long, but is there any way that will help me feel better temporarily or speed up the process? |
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kornfan There's a BARB in my EYE! No reregistering, Mr. Permabanned! Level: 38  Posts: 502/622 EXP: 344540 For next: 25907 Since: 06-27-04 From: the middle of fu**ing nowhere... Since last post: 414 days Last activity: 297 days |
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| If you want to still be friends, do what my ex-girlfriend did to me. Basically, agree with her that you guys have some stuff in common, tell her that she's really fun to hang out with, and you want to be her friend. The relationship thing just wasn't working out, but you don't want her out of her life. CAUTION!!! This is not a substitute for a clean break. She did this to me, and now we're back together, her idea. |
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Xzion666 Master of the BANNED clan Level: 38  Posts: 305/642 EXP: 355806 For next: 14641 Since: 07-12-04 From: Mars. Since last post: 402 days Last activity: 339 days |
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| Dude on this one you just have to follow your heart and wherever that might lead you. But just so you know, now don't take this the wrong way but I think that you should break up with her. It sounds a lot like she wants to, or allready is, see other people. But remember follow your heart... | |||
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kornfan There's a BARB in my EYE! No reregistering, Mr. Permabanned! Level: 38 Posts: 540/622 EXP: 344540 For next: 25907 Since: 06-27-04 From: the middle of fu**ing nowhere... Since last post: 414 days Last activity: 297 days |
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| You've just got to realize that she's only in the relationship for the security of it. I've had a few of those, and they're dead end. | |||
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Xzion666 Master of the BANNED clan Level: 38 Posts: 361/642 EXP: 355806 For next: 14641 Since: 07-12-04 From: Mars. Since last post: 402 days Last activity: 339 days |
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| So MHL what did you do? Did you break up with her or are you still together? Tell us. Fill us in...PLEASE I NEED DETAILS...J/K |
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kornfan There's a BARB in my EYE! No reregistering, Mr. Permabanned! Level: 38 Posts: 576/622 EXP: 344540 For next: 25907 Since: 06-27-04 From: the middle of fu**ing nowhere... Since last post: 414 days Last activity: 297 days |
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| He's pathetic. Just ignore him. That being said, how'd it turn out? Did you break up with her? Ae you getting married? Are you friends? Are you stalking her? Just raised too many questions... |
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DahrkDaiz Red Super Koopa  Acmlm's Mosts 2005 Best ROM Hacker Level: 45  Posts: 286/885 EXP: 643520 For next: 16644 Since: 03-15-04 From: K-Town Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| There's another guy that she wants to try out but if she was to do that, then she and the new guy might not make it and she would want to come back running to you, i.e. she doesn't want to be end up being alone in the end, she wants to come out on top when she takes that risk of going after another guy... This is how I interpret it atleast (and it seems very common when this sort of thing happens). (edited by DahrkDaiz on 08-16-04 08:20 PM) |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76  Posts: 938/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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Originally posted by DahrkDaiz That's what I think. She'll come back to you from another relationship when she figures out what she really wants. Let her feel other things out. If it was really meant to be she'll come back to you. Maybe the time a part will help her sort things out and you too since she returned. If you being in the relationship with her is really tearing you a part then you should end it but just go with your heart. Since it's your first serious relationship..and you broke up with her then just try to do something to get your mind off it. Keep yourself busy and get all in your hobby and work on that hobby. |
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MHL Red Goomba Level: 11 Posts: 14/38 EXP: 5360 For next: 625 Since: 05-27-04 From: Illinois Since last post: 62 days Last activity: 18 days |
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| Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this thread hit the sack. Well I did break up with her, however, we got back together a few days later and right now everything seems just fine with us. I broke up with her for the wrong reason though. You see, I thought she was lying that she didn't like another specific guy (one that she liked before but then hated). Apparently, she wasn't lying and she really still had feelings for me but was just confused so I screwed up. We are going to have to make it through the school year though and that will be hard being as I am in college and she is still in high school. But you know, most days I love her to death but other days we just want to shoot eachother. Yeah my feelings about her have been fluctuating. She told me that she wanted to get back together with me so bad that she was actually considering just apologizing to me even though she really didn't do anything. She did tell me that she does like some other guys but I'm the one she chose to go out with and that should tell me something. I'm not sure if it's good or bad though. Well I'll give some more details later, I have to be up for work in four hours. |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 956/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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More details soon  .Well at least you guys worked it out. She still likes this other guy? I wouldn't worry too much about it..but then I would. Is it a guy that she goes to school with? Try to trust her if she does. Since she chose you in the end, I'm sure she has more feelings for you than the other guy. |
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