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11-02-05 12:59 PM
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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Modern Art - Yet another English assignment | |
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Toxic
in a sublime state of mind
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Posted on 05-22-04 12:40 AM Link | Quote
I had to take a fairy tale, and change some aspects, and make it poetry, this is The Brave Tin Soldier.

There once were five-and-twenty tin soldiers
Whose positions were as adamant as boulders.
The pride of the land, you must understand,
That playing with them was always grand.

Stacked in a box, locked up tight,
They always made quite the sight.
A boy noticed them at the store and began to despair,
So his mother bailed him out, buying them with care.

TheKram

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Posted on 05-24-04 01:44 AM Link | Quote
It's a really good poem, I like all poems that rhyme pretty much as long as they don't sound lame.

and this doesn't sound lame. I never read the original fairy tale before though
Toxic
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Posted on 05-24-04 01:46 AM Link | Quote
It was Hans Christian Andersen's Brave Tin Soldier

*digs up link*

Here we are
Slash Dafter

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Posted on 05-29-04 05:18 PM Link | Quote
That was awesome, Toxic.
Felix

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Posted on 05-30-04 10:51 AM Link | Quote
Well, for the sake of criticism...

I don't really think the poem flows very well. There's no real simmilarity amoung the syllables in matching rhyming couplets per stanza, or in either line of the couplet.

It's a fairly nice poem, otherwise -- and I like how you took the tin soldier from a new medium -- but a large part of poetry (to me, anyhow) is a flowing pattern amoung sounds and syllables. It's like rhyme: it's not absolutely needed, but it's worth a lot.
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