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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Modern Art - Yet another English assignment |
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Toxic in a sublime state of mind Level: 75  Posts: 1282/2857 EXP: 3732709 For next: 94195 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 8 hours |
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| I had to take a fairy tale, and change some aspects, and make it poetry, this is The Brave Tin Soldier. There once were five-and-twenty tin soldiers Whose positions were as adamant as boulders. The pride of the land, you must understand, That playing with them was always grand. Stacked in a box, locked up tight, They always made quite the sight. A boy noticed them at the store and began to despair, So his mother bailed him out, buying them with care. |
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TheKram Micro-Goomba Level: 6 Posts: 10/11 EXP: 847 For next: 60 Since: 05-12-04 From: Coventry, RI Since last post: 521 days Last activity: 339 days |
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| It's a really good poem, I like all poems that rhyme pretty much as long as they don't sound lame. and this doesn't sound lame. I never read the original fairy tale before though |
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Toxic in a sublime state of mind Level: 75 Posts: 1317/2857 EXP: 3732709 For next: 94195 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 8 hours |
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| It was Hans Christian Andersen's Brave Tin Soldier *digs up link* Here we are |
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Slash Dafter Kodondo Level: 38  Posts: 263/584 EXP: 338934 For next: 31513 Since: 04-04-04 From: E. Millinocket, ME Since last post: 9 hours Last activity: 9 hours |
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| That was awesome, Toxic. | |||
Felix Nipper Plant Level: 33 Posts: 369/422 EXP: 208347 For next: 20832 Since: 04-03-04 From: Canada Since last post: 224 days Last activity: 6 days |
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| Well, for the sake of criticism... I don't really think the poem flows very well. There's no real simmilarity amoung the syllables in matching rhyming couplets per stanza, or in either line of the couplet. It's a fairly nice poem, otherwise -- and I like how you took the tin soldier from a new medium -- but a large part of poetry (to me, anyhow) is a flowing pattern amoung sounds and syllables. It's like rhyme: it's not absolutely needed, but it's worth a lot. |
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