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Izlude Octoballoon Level: 22  Posts: 142/171 EXP: 54655 For next: 3695 Since: 03-15-04 From: Canada Since last post: 421 days Last activity: 14 days |
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| I wasn't going to post this because I'm not active here anymore, so I don't realy think anyone would really care about it. I'm not going to be surprised if this gets no replies at all. I'm just feeling miserable and completely broken hearted, and I need something, or someone, to help me get by. I'd go to a friend and save you all the trouble of wasting time on me, but the only friend I have is the one that broke me and right now, I don't know how to talk to here. But anyway.. let me explain.. This started over a year ago, back near the end of January or so. I had recently joined at a message board and I started talking to someone. We became friends and such, and soon after, I found myself falling in love. I didn't bother saying anything about until about five months after I had realized what I was feeling. A couple of weeks after I told her, she said she loved me too, and we started going out. That was on November 11th. Up until now, everything was great. We loved each other, we were happy, and everything seemed okay. Yeah, the long distance part hurt, but we had plans to meet this summer and I was going to go back with her when she left and live with her. So yeah, everything seemed okay.. and I thought it would last for a while yet.. Last weekend, on Saturday, we were talking like everything was normal (it was actually the day after her birthday..). Then she starts talking about stuff like how she isn't sure if she loves me or not anymore.. and how she's getting bored with how our relationship is. This really scared the hell out of me and I could already start to feel my heart breaking. I didn't sleep at all that night. I just lay there staring into the darkness. Next day she tells me she wants to take a break and she wants to be alone... so we "take a break".. We still try to talk, but I find it really hard to. She tries to talk to me normally, but I can't do it. I'm feeling completely miserable and crushed. I don't feel like eating, I can't sleep, I get all confused with everything.. That's how I've been feeling since then (there's more about it in my journal. So if you really care, you can read it. Link is in my profile). Now, last night.. she said that she would tell me today if she loved me or not. I asked her if I would hear what I wanted to hear, and she said I probably wouldn't.. I spent the next half an hour just staring at my computer screen. I can't describe what I was feeling.. knowing that she didn't love me, we wouldn't get back together, and we wouldn't ever meet now. I didn't say anything to her after that other then "i'm going to bed". So I went to bed. It only started to really hurt when I got in bed. I broke out in tears, and I could hardly breathe. This went on for a few hours before I started to calm down a bit. I couldn't fall asleep though. I don't know what to do.. She said a few days ago that she still wants to be friends. I don't understand how I'm supposed to be her friend though. She just completely shattered my heart and devastated me. It's not like I can sit here and talk to her normally and act like a friend now. i don't know how to do it.. I don't want to lose her, but I'm afraid it's going to happen. I'll probably end up pushing her away from me or something.. I think that's pretty much it. I had more stuff to say, but I've forgotten. Sorry for wasting anyones time, and thank you to anyone that does bother reading this and replying and that cares at all. Except if you're going to reply with something like "it's just an online thing. just get over it and move on" or "you're still young, you'll meet other people and fall in love again" or whatever.. Thats not stuff I want to be hearing, so please don't post it. |
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Cthulhu Rex Level: 36  Posts: 410/541 EXP: 302159 For next: 5951 Since: 04-04-04 From: R'lyeh Since last post: 123 days Last activity: 61 days |
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| Well, that's a sad tale my friend. But you need to just get over it. I could understand if you had known this person in the flesh for years and had been very close, but an Internet friend is quite a bit different. Trust me, a long-distance relationship will never work, especially over the Internet. If she got "bored" with your relationship, you just need to move on man, she wasn't right for you. | |||
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101  Posts: 571/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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| Ah yes, heartbreak. Quite possibly the worst feeling one could ever have. First off, we can push the whole "you guys wont care" stuff off the table. We do care and this is the right place. I've been through something like this before. Most of us have. At this age (about 16-25) people change a great deal very rapidly. This is the age of exploration. People want to try new things, be with new people, and experience as much as they can. That's how it goes with relationships too. She may have gotten bored with the relationship, but that's only human and doesn't mean that it's something you did or that you're a boring person. The whole friends thing? Well, I know personally how hard it can be to be friends with someone you really care about after being with them for so long. It's impossible in some situations. You'll need to spend time to yourself and away from her for awhile. Being around her will probably bring up too many bad feelings. But in time, you'll be able to be friends with her again. I wish there was any advice I could give you to help ease the pain but there's not. The only thing I would suggest is to get outside and go places with friends. Or just go to crowded places where there's lots of people. Going through heartbreak is a horrible experience, but it's even worse if you have to go through it alone. I'm not going to judge the whole online thing. Love knows no boundries. Cthulu, you've obviously never gone through this before, otherwise you would know you can't just "get over it". And yes, long distance relationships do work. Take a look at two of our own, Jizuko and Sofie. They've gone through many hardships, but they're still going strong. Long distance relationships are extremely hard, but not impossible. And just because she got bored doesn't mean she wasn't right for him. (edited by Legion on 05-01-04 09:48 AM) (edited by Legion on 05-01-04 09:48 AM) |
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Uncle Elmo Hammer Brother Partly Sweet, Helpful, good at advice and a half decent writer. Also modest. Level: 49 Posts: 310/1062 EXP: 845899 For next: 37984 Since: 03-15-04 From: Prestatyn, Uk Since last post: 23 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Join the club, mate, a lot of what you typed REALLY hit home, and in fact if the old MB was still up I could direct you to MY breakup thread last October. You'll be feeling like crap right now and rightly so, but you've a few things in your favour... Lucky for you it was only 6 months, which is STILL a while, but it's different to 4 years  There are a LOT of people, me included who post here and have been through similar experiences, all of us have come out the other side. I have to beg to differ with Cthulhu about the LD-Relationship thing, mine lasted for 4 years and I'm friends with a few people who's relationship have also broken that barrier, so don't belittle this man's pain because it's viewed as being "inferior", the feelings are all real and so's the pain. The only thing that;'ll lessen the pain is time, which yes, you probably realise it's easy for me to say, as I'm talking 6 months and 2 suicide attempts later, don't make the mistake of wishing you were back together, because the best thing to do is imagine your life without her, figure out what you're going to do now, luckily for you, you didn't sell most your worldly possessions to live with her, only to have her dump you 3 months before the wedding, and believe me, if I can come through the crap that I've been through and still be sane at the end of it (well, MOSTLY sane!), then believe me, anyone can. My heart's with you on this my friend, and you'll look back on this one day and laugh your arse off, there ARE other women, but don't think about it right now, love yourself first and the women will come later, trust me. Leg - I agree with everything you've said, but don't Jizzy and Sofie now live together? therefore it's no longer, strictly speaking an LD Relationship?  (edited by Uncle Elmo on 05-01-04 09:54 AM) |
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Wlokos Red Paratroopa Level: 22 Posts: 32/176 EXP: 54880 For next: 3470 Since: 04-29-04 Since last post: 11 days Last activity: 10 days |
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I feel sorry for you, and just remember that time is the only rememedy for some wounds. It will take a while, but eventually you will be able to accept this and keep going. Just expect it to take a while... Not that I've experienced anything like that yet, so I dunno if my advice is the best to follow.. Well, I tried..  |
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 25/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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| Izlude, you got played by a womyn. If you consult the Womynese dictionary: "I am bored with the relationship" = I want to see other men. "I need a break" = I do not love you and I want to leave you. "Lets be friends" = I want to use you as a trophy to make myself feel good. Get yourself a prostitute or join the womyn-haters club. Besides, womyn like jerks and assholes, so you should contemplate becoming one. Sorry to break it to you, but some 90% of Western womyn are life-sucking, narcistic parasites. Alternatively, get a South American, Eastern European or Asian (non-Japanese or non-Chinese) girlfriend/wife in future. |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.  Level: 73  Posts: 197/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Originally posted by Ambigore Wow, you're Mr Cynical now AREN'T you, Ambigore!? Those things don't necessarily mean that, unless you've been dating particularly bitchy uh.. bitches. "I Need A Break" is not a good sign, sure, but if the relationship's rocky or stressful to begin with (some people call it "passionate" o.o) then yeah, it might just be a break for both parties to get their head straight. And "Let's Be Friends"... eh, I usually acknowledge it's hard to be friends with somebody after a relationship, but often the "Let's Be Friends" thing means that a girl doesn't want to let you out of her life. We're not ALL heartless bitches, y'know Anyways, breaking up is hard, on both sides of the relationship. I've broken up with my partner recently. We're trying to patch it up, but... it's hard. For both of us. |
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Kasumi-Astra Administrator Level: 62  Posts: 306/1867 EXP: 1971846 For next: 12840 Since: 03-15-04 From: Reading, UK Uni: Sheffield, UK Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 12 hours |
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| And how exactly do you understand this, Ambi? I don't suppose you've put on a bra and actually lived as a woman, have you? You are generalising women of the western world based on stereotypes that you hate. Besides, what makes Asian women any different? If you really want to know what those phrases means, go check Delial's excelent thread in Anya and Christi's forum. |
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 26/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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| I'm just letting some venom out of my veins, Taryn. BTW, you're in the respectable 10%, so you're safe. Kasumi, Delial's thread was excellent (and quite accurate), but I've already read a few books on the topic and from my real-world experience, the myth of asshole magnetism holds true. As for Asian women being different, I did put a non-Chinese or non-Japanese disclaimer there as women from these countries/backgrounds tend to be as superficial as hell (although less likely to cheat than Western womyn if you have the $$$). Besides that, other Asian-born women (Thais, Filipinos, etc) are naturally docile, many South American women are loyal out of religious belief, and Eastern European women are contemptious of their local men. Besides, I'm just steering our friend Izlude straight. (edited by Ambigore on 05-01-04 12:49 PM) |
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Cthulhu Rex Level: 36 Posts: 421/541 EXP: 302159 For next: 5951 Since: 04-04-04 From: R'lyeh Since last post: 123 days Last activity: 61 days |
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| Damn, man, you have some strong opinions, eh? Now just for a second, let us ask ourselves, why are women attracted to assholes? Answer me that and I'll show you a green dog. | |||
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 27/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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| Attempting to answer your question is a futile exercise. All I know is judge a womyn, not by her words, but by her actions. (edited by Ambigore on 05-01-04 01:18 PM) |
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Cthulhu Rex Level: 36 Posts: 423/541 EXP: 302159 For next: 5951 Since: 04-04-04 From: R'lyeh Since last post: 123 days Last activity: 61 days |
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| Well, that's interesting. Then how do you judge "womyn" on this board? It's all in word my friend. | |||
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 28/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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| Don't pull schematics on me. Technically, yes, this entire forum consists of "words", but these words describe actions. |
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Cthulhu Rex Level: 36 Posts: 424/541 EXP: 302159 For next: 5951 Since: 04-04-04 From: R'lyeh Since last post: 123 days Last activity: 61 days |
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| How can you be sure that they actually mean those actions? It's all in words. They could type something, and say the exact opposite on the other end. | |||
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 579/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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| What the fuck are you guys talking about? This thread isn't about women in general or your definitions of words. He's asking for advice with his current situation. Jeeeeze. | |||
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Cthulhu Rex Level: 36 Posts: 426/541 EXP: 302159 For next: 5951 Since: 04-04-04 From: R'lyeh Since last post: 123 days Last activity: 61 days |
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| I know. I was just screwing around with Ambigore. My advice seems to have been taken the wrong way, so... | |||
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 29/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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| Legion, I did provide advice, but Kasumi and Cthulhu were quick to defeat my 'non-PCish' views. And Izlude did say not to post "it's just an online thing. just get over it and move on" or "you're still young, you'll meet other people and fall in love again" type messages. I have obliged to his wishes. Izlude, reality can't be wrong. Assholes win more often than nice guys. Your choice, man. Your best hope of winning a lady while remaining a nice guy is to go overseas. Otherwise, man up, get your ass in a gym, and treat womyn like dirt. If you insist on doing neither, may I politely advise that you purchase a lottery ticket. The chances of winning the jackpot are much higher than successfully finding a lady who will respect your kind and sweet nature. In other words, put yourself first before womyn. EDIT: Cthulhu, shame! But people are welcome to disagree with me. (edited by Ambigore on 05-01-04 01:42 PM) (edited by Ambigore on 05-01-04 01:44 PM) |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 582/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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Originally posted by Ambigore Originally posted by Ambigore So you're saying that had everything to do with giving advice to someone who's having relationship problems? EDIT: And wtf is up with this "womyn" thing? (edited by Legion on 05-01-04 01:49 PM) |
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 30/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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Originally posted by Legion Kasumi and Cthulhu diverged this thread in the first place. I had the option of explaining my view, which I did. As for the womyn thing... Womyn = modern woman http://www.angelfire.com/nj/CNJARA/womyn.html Legion's requested a better example... The Rural Womyn Zone (edited by Ambigore on 05-01-04 02:04 PM) (edited by Ambigore on 05-01-04 02:46 PM) |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 585/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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Originally posted by AmbigoreOriginally posted by Legion It still sounds stupid. And I refuse to go to any Angelfire page without losing any respect for it beforehand. |
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