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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - General Chat - Jokes! | | | |
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Snika Boo Level: 44 Posts: 88/916 EXP: 600678 For next: 10607 Since: 07-21-04 From: Freezing Cold Alaska! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 days |
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Heya! Anyone know some good, clean jokes? =P Snika |
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Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57 Posts: 1114/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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When the bank gives me money, I say, "Bank you". Then, they say to me back, "Your income"! |
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Valcion YOU WA SHOCK Level: 50 Posts: 849/1139 EXP: 939607 For next: 7710 Since: 03-15-04 From: internets. Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Yep. | |||
Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57 Posts: 1118/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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Now THAT....... was funny! I'm so in stitches. | |||
Legault Bot Level: 24 Posts: 137/269 EXP: 78075 For next: 50 Since: 12-24-04 From: Schools out...YES!!! Summer vacation. Since last post: 13 days Last activity: 4 days |
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Ha ha...I get it. that was great, but here is another one. It is as good as Shyguy's. Okay three guys walk into a bar the fourth one decides to go home. |
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HyperLamer <||bass> and this was the soloution i thought of that was guarinteed to piss off the greatest amount of people Sesshomaru Tamaranian Level: 118 Posts: 4978/8210 EXP: 18171887 For next: 211027 Since: 03-15-04 From: Canada, w00t! LOL FAD Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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A man walked into a bar. He should have watched where he was going. What did one robot say to the other? 01101101. What's the difference between your mom and your dad? Not much, they're both cousins. *dodges rotten tomatoes* |
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Keikonium Banned Level: NAN Posts: 1343/-2459 EXP: NAN For next: 0 Since: 04-02-04 Since last post: 63 days Last activity: 9 hours |
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I know you asked for clean jokes, but I can't resist posting this dirty, dirty one!: A cow fell into the mud! haha |
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Legault Bot Level: 24 Posts: 142/269 EXP: 78075 For next: 50 Since: 12-24-04 From: Schools out...YES!!! Summer vacation. Since last post: 13 days Last activity: 4 days |
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Bear walk into bar ask bartender, " I would like........A drink." Bartender say to bear, "Why the long paws." Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha |
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Kyoufu Kawa I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way. Level: 70 Posts: 1641/2481 EXP: 3008456 For next: 7355 Since: 03-19-04 From: Catgirl Central Since last post: 14 hours Last activity: 13 hours |
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I'd post a joke too, but can't think of anything worse than all these puns. | |||
Yoronosuku Bullet Bill YORO 4 GOD Level: 32 Posts: 184/502 EXP: 194954 For next: 11488 Since: 01-06-05 From: hailing from Oyamazaki, Kyoto Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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Originally posted by Valcion That isn't a joke, it is actualy really sad Here is a 'clean' joke: A humburger walks in to a bar and the tender says "sorry, we do not serve food here". Okay. I should be shot for that, it was that bad ._.; |
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Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57 Posts: 1145/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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The best yet! HAHA I'm Reaching for my hankey, now!!!!!!! (edited by Shyguy on 06-15-05 01:57 PM) |
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Yoronosuku Bullet Bill YORO 4 GOD Level: 32 Posts: 189/502 EXP: 194954 For next: 11488 Since: 01-06-05 From: hailing from Oyamazaki, Kyoto Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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If you were any more clever, you might hurt yourself. | |||
Tanookirby Bullet Bill Level: 30 Posts: 154/509 EXP: 152637 For next: 13232 Since: 05-09-05 Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 hours |
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Here's one. What do you call a bird with no eyes? A brd. (it's more effective to hear the joke than to read it) |
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HyperLamer <||bass> and this was the soloution i thought of that was guarinteed to piss off the greatest amount of people Sesshomaru Tamaranian Level: 118 Posts: 5003/8210 EXP: 18171887 For next: 211027 Since: 03-15-04 From: Canada, w00t! LOL FAD Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Saw this on QDB a while back. What do you call an Iraqi flying a plane? A pilot, you damn racist. | |||
Valcion YOU WA SHOCK Level: 50 Posts: 857/1139 EXP: 939607 For next: 7710 Since: 03-15-04 From: internets. Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Obviously my humor is too much for you all. | |||
DahrkDaiz Red Super Koopa Acmlm's Mosts 2005 Best ROM Hacker Level: 45 Posts: 681/885 EXP: 643520 For next: 16644 Since: 03-15-04 From: K-Town Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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So a skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a drink and a mop... There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't... What word starts with 'f' and ends with 'uck'? Spoiler: firetruck Thank you, thank you! I'll be at the ritz tonight... |
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Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57 Posts: 1160/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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Here is something funny! NSNick walks out of a bar. ....... get it? | |||
alte Hexe Star Mario I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night Alive as you and me "But Joe you're ten years dead!" "I never died" said he "I never died!" said he Level: 99 Posts: 4129/5458 EXP: 9854489 For next: 145511 Since: 03-15-04 From: ... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Shyguy. Don't try standup |
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Dracoon Zelda The temp ban/forum ban bypasser! Level: 84 Posts: 3143/3727 EXP: 5514391 For next: 147561 Since: 03-25-04 From: At home Since last post: 5 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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Ok, I got one... Once, a while ago, lets say 40 years, I don't care. Anyways, there was once a school teacher who asked every kid in their class to find a word that they didn't know the meaning to and she'd explain it to them. So, this one kid came in the next day and the teacher asked. "Well, whats your word." The kid replied, kind of confused, "Purple Passion." The teacher became fursious and sent the kid to the principals office. He talked to the secretary and she asked "Well, what happened?" So the kid replied, "Well... my teacher told me to bring in a word, I told her the word and she got really angry, and it looks like I might get suspended." "Oh, well... whats the word." The kid looked uneasy, but he said it, "Purple passion." (Now in easier to read edition) The secretary went pale and practically through him into the principals office. The principal looked at him and said, "Well, what'd you do?" The kid looked uneasy, but told his story. "Well, our teacher told us to bring in a word we didn't know the definition to, so I brought in a word, when I said it, she got all mad and kicked me out, then I talked to the secretary and told her the word and she got all mad and practically threw me in here." The principal looked a little worried. "Well, whats the word?" "Purple passion." The principal looked furisous and kicked the kid out of school, permanantly, he got home and told his parents what happened and they didn't know the meaning of the word either, so they tried to get him in another school. "Well, how'd you get kicked out of your old school?" The lady who was trying to get him in asked politely and the kid answered. "Well, one day my teacher told me to bring a word in and ask what it meant, so I told her the word, she got all mad, sent me to the principals, I talked to the secretary, she got all mad and practically threw me into the prinicpals office, I talked to him, he got angry and kicked me out." "Well... whats the word." The kid REALLY didn't want to say it, but she was so nice, that he did. "Purple passion." The lady had a shocked expression and kicked him out of her office, telling him he should just quit. The kid and his parents didn't quit though, for an entire year they couldn't get him placed in a school so they started home schooling him. Then it came time to take his SATs and he talked to the person giving the test since it was on a makeup day. "So, how'd you get here kdi and why didn't you take it on the right day?" The kid sighed. "Well, it all started with my teacher tellilng me to bring in a word and ask what it meant, I told her the word and she got really mad at me, she sent me to the principals office and I talked to the secretary, told her the word and she practically threw me into the principals office, I told him the word and he kicked me out of school, then whenI tried to get in a new school, they kept asking how I got there and I told them the word and never got in a school." "So... whats the word?" The kid sighed again, knowing where this was going. "Purple passion." The person giving the test almost went insane, he kicked the kid out and murdered his parents sometime that night. The kid never managed to get a job and was just wasting his life. After a few years, he was on a bus talking to the driver, trying to get to a military base. "So kid, how'd you get here?" "Well, I hope you don't mind... But, one day in 5th grade, my teacher told me to bring in a word, I did, she got mad and sent me to the principals office, secretary got mad, practically threw me in the office, principal expelled me, and I couldn't get in any school, couldn't take my SATs, couldn't get a job... parents were murdered. "Ouch... what was the word?" The kid sighed, hoping this driver really wouldn't care. They were in the middle of no where after all, not anything he could do. "Purple passion." The driver stopped and the bus kicked him off. For a few years he went from town to town, being shunned as he slowly forgot the word. He winded up in New York with the bums. He made a hobo buddy and they talked for hours never asking about each others past. "Hey, whats your past old man I haven't asked you ever." "Me kid, its nothing, I grew up here and made a bad investment, what about yours." "Ha, mines great, its funny. So one day, in 5th grade, my teacher told me to bring in a word, I told her the word, got sent to the prinicpals office, got expelled, couldn't get into any schools because of this word, couldn't take my SATs and my parents got murdered, all because of this word." "So what is it sonny?" "ha, its great... Purple passion." The hobo got angry and knifed the kid (who was now about 50) and he died shortly after. He woke up in front of the pearl gates with Saint Peter looking at him. "I know how you got here, but care to explain, it seems different." "well, it all started one day in 5th grade, my teacher told me to bring in a word, I told her the word, got sent to the prinicpals office, got expelled, couldn't get into any schools because of this word, couldn't take my SATs and my parents got murdered, all because of this word, then my hobo buddy knifed me." "Well, whats the word." "Purple passion." Saint Peter used a huge lever and the kid was plummeted down to hell. A demon looked at him and he explained his story to him and the demon took him to Satan. "So, how'd you get here?" "Well, it all started one day in 5th grade, my teacher told me to bring in a word, I told her the word, got sent to the prinicpals office, got expelled, couldn't get into any schools because of this word, couldn't take my SATs and my parents got murdered, all because of this word, then my hobo buddy knifed me, then saint Peter sent me down here." "So... whats the word." "Purple passion." Satan started laughing for a long time and the kid began to panic "What?!? Whats the word mean!? What is it!?" Satan stopped laughing and told the kid. "Purple passion is a 10-15 minute joke meant to piss people off." F I N |
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Graviteh Level: 31 Posts: 431/500 EXP: 165989 For next: 19374 Since: 03-27-05 From: The Internet Since last post: 42 days Last activity: 1 day |
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Originally posted by Shyguy OMG That one's killer |
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