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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - A message... |
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Waddler-D Deddorokku Level: 33  Posts: 433/442 EXP: 227132 For next: 2047 Since: 03-15-04 From: Orange Ocean, Popstar Since last post: 168 days Last activity: 123 days |
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| It's been a while since I have sat down and written like this. I guess that time has really changed me in a way. But I don't know anyway to suppress my anger and sadness. I have fallen in love or been attracted to many girls in my time, but every damn time, I get the rejection slip. While I take it like a man, the scars that it left are not emotionally or physically... just mental. Right now, my apprectiation for love drops once again. Right now, I view this idea of love as something where your emotional heart is... most vulnerable. Your heart, taken by the beauty of the situation is left out in the open, and where anything that wouldn't affect you now, slashes a gash. Enough that it would make you shed tears... Love has many analogies, it can be a one-way street, a double-edged sword, a blessing, or a curse. While I sit here, typing this, I question myself... "Why do I deserve this?" "What have I done to feel this way?" I know I'm not a perfect man, my past actions can prove that to me, but for some reason, I secretly strive for it, in a way. I'm serious and I'm hard on myself. Most of the time, I blame myself for whatever upsets me, but what can I do? My goal in life is to learn, understand, and experience things, so that I may help others with it. I say this because of my thoughts on life sometimes. Life, in a sense, is like love. It's often misunderstood and taken for granted, and while we don't think much about it all the time... when we do, we are left confused and stunned, not knowing what to say or show for it. I guess I can understand that now. I guess that because of this realization, I can suppress my anger and buried my sadness for now. While I may still love this person right now, I fear that because they won't love me the same way back, this feeling might fade. And if they ever needed me someday, I fear that I wouldn't give them the same help as I wanted to. But sometimes... I'm just unsure of love, and that's one thing that I look down upon. If you're unsure of something, then... what should we believe in life or who can we trust? That are some things that a broken heart may and possibly will say. The only way you can overcome it, is your willpower, telling you not to listen to its rambling. I think that I'm grateful that I don't listen to my negativity most of the time, as much as it bothers me. I mean, if you look at it, thinking positive and negative has simple concepts... With thinking positively, you create something, most of the time that you accept or like. On the other hand, thinking negatively... it usually tear apart or destroys things. This is all I have to say for now, may it be a lot or a little, only the reader will have that to say. I guess that I had to let it out... It's just here to read, but if you want to make comments, go right ahead. But, I really think that I should... stop holding my advice from you guys now. It might help out, but all I'll be is unsure if I don't try at all... I'll try to post here more and see if I can help out at all. I kind of regret not doing this too much in the first place... (edited by Waddler-D on 05-04-05 02:09 AM) (edited by Waddler-D on 05-04-05 02:13 AM) |
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Keikonium Banned Level: NAN Posts: 1212/-2459 EXP: NAN For next: 0 Since: 04-02-04 Since last post: 63 days Last activity: 9 hours |
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I know EXACTLY what you mean. My post my not be as long or well spoken as yours, but I am in the same type of situation. A girl I love, and who SAYS she loves me, are dating. But I am older than her, and I dont know if her feelings are real, or if she is only saying that. It worries me sometimes. But, with the girls your talking about, DONT RUSH THINGS! Believe me I know. I have rushed before and it has ended in pain and heart-break . My current GF, I took it slow (knew her for 4 years, then started dating last february). So go slow, and do things for the girl you currently like. Be nice, and make sure your always there for her.It will all work out. Trust me  .Good luck |
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Graviteh Level: 31 Posts: 73/500 EXP: 165989 For next: 19374 Since: 03-27-05 From: The Internet Since last post: 42 days Last activity: 1 day |
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| Well, I disagree with the thinking negative part. I think thinking negatively is actually more realistic that thinking about this happy go lucky world most of us seem to create. I wish the world was a Utopia. | |||
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Waddler-D Deddorokku Level: 33 Posts: 434/442 EXP: 227132 For next: 2047 Since: 03-15-04 From: Orange Ocean, Popstar Since last post: 168 days Last activity: 123 days |
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| True, but the thing is that I'm not saying being a blind optimistical person is the best way because I am actually a skeptical person. But one could say that a reason why world peace doesn't exist is because everyone seems to believe it's not possible. It may be more realistic, but I believe that it's just a little better to strive for the unrealistic sometimes. Because even we are not successful, we can make better of something, I would believe. I don't know if this is a great thing to say, but sometimes it feels like the way nature is constructed, we have to kill other things to make new things sometimes. Like with paper and lumber, we have to cut down trees. With livestock, we have to slaughter them to eat meat. And the matter is that resources are scarce on this planet, so it can't possible be that utopia. But there is nothing wrong with striving for that possible utopia, but I afraid that some people would... twist that idea in a campaign to construct a world-wide empire...  *Shrugs* It's hard to say, but I'm just saying that while thinking negative is essential more realistic, thinking positive can possibly overcome things that we THOUGHT were realistic impossible. Think about all the medical and technological advances that people have made through time, and think about what would happen if they thought they couldn't do it because of the complexity of it. This world may not be a utopia, but it has come a long way.  |
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Slay Level: 25 Posts: 150/339 EXP: 85592 For next: 4028 Since: 04-28-05 From: Threshold Between Heaven and Hell Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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| Love, I think, is mutual by default. You might feel affectionate towards someone, you might desire them romantically, intellectually or sexually, you might care deeply for them, but unless it's mutual, it isn't love. Teens have a tendancy to talk about who they may have been in love with before or are in love with at the moment, but sparse few have actually ever been in love. I would say it's mere infatuation, but that would sound a bit condescending, which isn't my intention. Love should be a thing of pure positivity; something that only brings good. If you worry about love, you're making it into a thing of negativity, of apprehension, of stress, and is something as heavenly as love deserving of such connotations? You can think about love, about what it might be like to feel such things with someone, but when you think about it, do so fantasizingly, with butterflies in your stomach, warmth in your body and sparkles in your eyes. Don't think about love with fright or anticipation. Let what may happen, simply happen. And that's what love does - it happens. You can't control it. You can fake love, you can ignore love, but you cannot control it, and the more you try, the more frustrated you will find yourself. I can understand your sadness, but the grass is not always greener. They say it's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all, but I disagree. In my experience, if you're given a taste of the most succulent and silky chocolate, every piece you eat after that will seem "second-best." A dear friend of mine had love, but he was taken from her by whatever forces may control life and death. For awhile, she threw herself into relationship after relationship, seeking to fill the gaping void within her. She may have been happy when she was with him, but if she never was, she wouldn't be sad today, or yesterday, or tomorrow. But what about your situation angers you? Or perhaps you just meant to use the word frustrate. You say, "Why do I deserve this?" "What have I done to feel this way?" This way of thinking is fallicious, because it assumes that you are granted rewards based on your personal merits, (or, conversely, have rewards withheld from you based upon lack of merit), but this is simply not true. If it was, all the richest, happiest people in the world would also be those with the most personal merit, and we can all agree that such is not the case. The best advice I can give you at the moment is not to fret. Love is a timid creature, both rare and beautiful; if you give chase, it will run away, but if you wait patiently enough, it will eventually come to you. |
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Black Lord Level: 34 Posts: 288/453 EXP: 235639 For next: 18012 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nebraska, what's a Nebraska Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
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| Very nicely said Slay. I would like to add that I think if anything is love, then somehow, someway, it will work out. If it doesn't, it just simply was not meant to be. This has helped me get over past relationships, and if my current relationship doesn't work out, it will help me through that. |
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