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11-02-05 12:59 PM
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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Strange, sinking feeling | |
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Grey the Stampede

Don't mess with powers you don't understand.

And yes. That means donuts.
Level: 82

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Since: 06-17-04
From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth

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Posted on 03-04-05 09:51 PM Link | Quote
Lately, I've been getting this strange sinking feeling in my stomach and chest all the time. It makes me wonder what's wrong with my life. I feel as though I need to reassess my current situation, and change things around.

There are problems I'm afraid to confront, and no matter how much encouragement I get toward them (because I know someone's gonna say I should just go for it or something...), I just cant bring myself to talk about my problems, every time I think about them I get that same feeling. It feels like nothing's going to change, and nothing's going to get better. Normally I'm pretty happy and pretty jolly and I can deal with life, but then there are just times when it hits me like a wave: I can't deal with things.

I've tried stress management, I've tried taking deep breaths, but days like this... I feel so pissed off, I want to punch my hand through a window and lick my own blood off my knuckles. I want to suck the pain out through my veins, and cough up the blood that goes into my entrails. I want to scream, I want to hit things, I want to rip things and destroy things, and I don't know what to do about it.

It's like I said, there are things I want to confront, but my own fear keeps me from doing it, and it's just unbreakable. No matter how mad I get or how strong my strength of conviction becomes, the fear just comes back to me that much stronger and I can't counter it. To mutate a phrase from Orwell, I know why, but now I want to understand how. Is there some kind of way I can just cope?


(edited by Grey on 03-04-05 12:52 PM)
Ran-chan

Moldorm
eek, when are they going to stop growing...
Level: 143

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Since: 03-15-04
From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan

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Posted on 03-04-05 10:18 PM Link | Quote
I


(edited by Trapster on 03-04-05 01:18 PM)
Kles

Red Paratroopa
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Posted on 03-05-05 12:26 AM Link | Quote
What exactly are the issues at hand? Sometimes simply talking about them will make you feel better.
Grey the Stampede

Don't mess with powers you don't understand.

And yes. That means donuts.
Level: 82

Posts: 1830/3770
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Since: 06-17-04
From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth

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Posted on 03-05-05 09:41 AM Link | Quote
It's mainly with my girlfriend. We've been going out for about 8 months or so now, and it's been a great time. A lot of ups and downs, but every up is worth a million downs. But it's hard to get her to open up to me sometimes, and I feel like she's not comfortable with me, and it's unnerving, especially considering how bad some of our arguments are, I feel like we'd just argue so much less if she were as open with me as I am with her.

Then there's my mother. She and I used to have an excellent relationship, but for the last year or so it's just been on a steady decline, because she thinks I haven't been doing anything to prepare for my future, when I have. I really have.

A little while ago I found out my father actually didn't believe I was his son for the first few years after he and my mother divorced (they divorced when I was about a year old). That's a bit of a crushing blow, not that I didn't hate him before, but that's still gonna add fuel to the fire.

There's more, but those three issues are pretty much what's eating at me the most now, and all three of them are things I just get so scared of when I try to think about confronting them.
Jarukoth


IRRATIONAL EXUBERENCE!!1!
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Since: 03-17-04
From: New Jersey, U.S.A.
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Posted on 03-05-05 06:39 PM Link | Quote
I know I must sound like a broken record to you people by now, and I'm sure I'll get flamed for this eventually, but I don't care.

Religious faith helped me put my emotions into perspective. I personally had a pretty bad anger problem. So much so to the point where people who I didn't even know were afraid that I would kill them if they looked at me the wrong way. I wanted to just flip out so many times.

My advice? Go seek help from your local church/temple. I'm sure you'll find plenty of people who are willing to help you cope with your emotions.
Grey the Stampede

Don't mess with powers you don't understand.

And yes. That means donuts.
Level: 82

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Since: 06-17-04
From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth

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Posted on 03-05-05 06:52 PM Link | Quote
Actually, you're on a good track there. Problem is, a few years ago I tried getting back into my faith. I really can't do it for some reason, there's just something more I seek when I think about religion. There's too many questions.

Rather than do that, at that time what I did was just read the New Testament. Though I don't actually follow any real religion, I find that many of the things Jesus says in it are things we all should pay attention to.

I've been considering reading Buddhist texts, as well as Taoist, just to get a different perspective. Maybe I will give it another try, if it works out well.

My Superintendent came into school yesterday to deliver a presentation on the brain. He talked about medication, as well. He said there's really no such thing as "happy pills", and what the meds actually do is help you regulate and supress unbalanced levels of chemicals in your body so that your body stops overproducing the counterchemicals. It happened to his son, who had hypoglicemia (sp?), and it's often used to treat chronically depressed patients not by forcing them to be happy, but by suppressing the chemicals that make them stressed or sad.

If multireligious study doesn't work, I could always try that. But I've been afraid of medications, for the longest time I've always believed in the abilities the human body has to help itself, although I recognize the miraculous things modern medicine has done for our health, and I'm sure I'd undergo any treatment that was needed to repair my body, as far as changing it goes I'm still sort of iffy on chemical imbalance medication.


(edited by Grey on 03-05-05 09:53 AM)
Acillatem98

Red Koopa
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Since: 03-02-05
From: Akron, Ohio

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Posted on 03-05-05 10:29 PM Link | Quote
If you have a good friend that won't let everyone know about your problem, ask them for advice. I have problems and thats the best way I've found to help me out.
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